Ida.
The great room upstairs?
William.
Yes, that one. Once we had entered that room, the sun might shine as brightly as it liked through the windows, it was night for us inside. Well, then, you see, we used to take refuge with mother; we simply ran away from him; and then there used to be scenes—mother pulling me by one arm, father by the other. It came to this, that Friebe had to carry us upstairs. We defended ourselves: we used to bite his hands. Of course, nothing was any use; our life only became more unendurable—but we remained obstinate and—I know now—father began to hate us. We drove him to such a point that one day he hunted us downstairs; he couldn’t endure us any more, the very sight of us was hateful to him.
Ida.
But your father—you’ll admit he meant well—he wanted you to learn a great deal, and so—
William.
Up to a certain point he may have meant well—may have—but at that time we were only boys of nine or ten and afterwards the good intentions disappeared. On the contrary, his intention then was to let us go utterly to ruin. Yes, yes, mother was a cipher. For five years we were left to ourselves in the most reckless way: we were scamps and loafers. I had one thing left—my music; Robert had nothing. But we took to other things besides. We shall scarcely ever get over the effects of some of them.—At last I suppose father’s conscience pricked him; there were frightful scenes with mother. In the end we were packed off to an Institution, and when I could not stand the slavery of that any more and ran away, he had me stopped and sent to Hamburg. The good-for-nothing should go to America. The good-for-nothing naturally ran away again. I let my parents alone and starved and fought my own way through the world. Robert has much the same experience to look back upon. Nevertheless, in father’s eyes we have remained good-for-nothings: later on I was simple enough to ask him for some help—as a right, not as charity; I wanted to go to the Conservatoire. Then he wrote to me, on a postcard, “Be a cobbler.” And so you see, Ida, we are in a way self-made men, but we’re not particularly proud of it.
Ida (smiling).
Really, Willy, I can’t help it! I do sympathise with you so, but at this moment I can’t help—Oh, don’t look so strangely at me, please—please—