“Of course you don’t. A woman never gives a man credit for any decency of motive: her theory is that he follows along the line of least resistance. Well, I suppose he does.”
She dropped her face into her hands.
“Oh, what shall I do? What shall I do?” she said passionately.
Clive brought his hand close above his own eyes. “Will it not help you to know that I love you unalterably?”
“Can a man remember a woman like that?”
“There is one woman in every man’s life that he never forgets; and that woman, worse luck, is rarely his wife.”
“It would mean everything to me. And I could be true to you. But it doesn’t satisfy me.” She dropped her hands and stared at him. “I want you—you. How am I to drag out my life? I can’t believe that after to-night I shall never see you again. I can’t! I can’t!” She stood up and leaned against the opposite end of the mantel. “Do you know one thing that keeps on hurting me through everything?” she asked after a few moments. “It is that you suffer more than I do, than I am capable of suffering, and that I cannot sympathize with you as I want to do. Is that the reason that you don’t love me well enough to give up everything else for me—that I am not strong enough to hold you?”
“Of course it is not the reason. If you really love me—and I believe you do—you will suffer enough before you get through.”
For a while neither spoke again, nor moved. The ocean sounded as if it were under the window.
“There is another thing,” she said, finally. “I may as well say it. I know that if I had succeeded to-night I should have been horribly disappointed in you. It wouldn’t be you any longer. For what I love in you is your strength—a strength I don’t possess. I’m glad I came to-night, although I’ve made myself ridiculous; I know both you and myself better. I can be true to you now; I don’t think I could have been before, and I might have done reckless things. And perhaps after you have gone and the novelty and excitement have worn off, I shall understand you still better. That is what I shall live for. Promise me that you will believe that, and that spiritually I shall never be far from you, and that I am growing better instead of worse.”