“I have put a temporary lid on a devil’s brew. Who has not iron and steel in his nature if he amounts to anything? It comes out in one fashion and another. I am showing you my naked soul. I shall never do that to the child I married—to any one else on earth, for that matter. Mabel will be let down as easily as possible. I have every wish to spare her, and she gains in acuteness. Possibly she will let me alone at first in the hope of slowly winning me back, and meanwhile learn to do without me.”
“You should not have left her now. There is always the possibility of death in childbirth.”
She saw him turn a shade paler and stir uneasily, but his gaze did not soften nor waver. She said abruptly:
“How can you tell that were you suddenly free, I should not expect you to marry me?”
“I should certainly marry you.”
“And what compromise then? Not a woman in diplomatic society would receive me. I can see them! To shake hands with a famous artist at a reception and go away and talk about it is one thing; to receive her as an equal, to forget her scandalous history as well as her public career—why discuss the obvious? Even were I willing to renounce my career, you never could stand the position. Loyalty to me and your own pride would force you to give up the service.”
“Not now. You forget your conquest of London; its conclusion to believe none of those stories.”
“London felt quite safe in permitting itself to be captivated by the celebrity of the moment; I asked nothing further of it, encouraged none of its marriageable men, my stay was brief. If I invaded one of those Londons in petto, a British embassy, demanding to be received as an equal, do you believe that they would guilelessly accept me? They would immediately investigate and learn the truth.”
“Anything can be lived down—”
“Not a past like mine.”