“With that view of it, of course I can see why your money wouldn’t last long.”
“Oh, I’m extravagant besides, I’ll own to that; that’s the real trouble. I want to buy everything that takes my eye, I want to make everything run smooth, like on greased wheels, and to have all the faces around me look pleased, and everybody liking me. I love the feeling of luxury and festivity, and oh, I just love a grand good time! That’s what the money was given to me for, wasn’t it, so that I could have a grand good time? But when I’ve indulged myself, Tom, I wouldn’t have the face, if I had the heart, to say no to anybody that came along and wanted me to indulge them, too. Now, I don’t want you to go thinking this is generosity, Tom, or a good heart, or that I have any sneaking idea in my own bosom that it’s anything of the sort. I’d be a regular–low-down–soggy–sinful sowbug, 357 I’d be too dirt-mean to live, if I pretended it was that. When I was poor I never was generous; I never thought of it. I worked hard for what I got; and was in the same boat exactly as the rest; I was entitled to the little bit I’d worked for. But now it’s different. It’s like I’d won the big prize in the lottery. I can’t be stingy with it and not blush. I can’t sit there like a swollen wood-tick and be rich all by myself.”
“All right, Nell; all right. It’s a perfectly understandable way of looking at it, if it is rather far-fetched. But good-by to the hard-earned thousands. You won’t have a smitch of them left.”
“Good-by, then, and good riddance!” cried Aurora violently, almost pettishly. “I don’t really like them, anyhow. It’s too easy just to write your name on a check. At first I thought I was living in a fairy-tale; but once you’ve got used to it, it doesn’t compare with the fun you get the old-fashioned way, working hard for a thing, and planning, and going to price it, and saving, and finally getting it, and that proud! People who haven’t been poor simply don’t know. Why, that one poor little silver bangle I had when I was fifteen did more to give me pure joy than any of the beautiful things I’ve bought this whole last year. I’m sorry if it seems ungrateful to my bloated bank-account, but it’s true. Another thing, Tom. I was brought up to work. I won’t say I liked it. I don’t think many people who’ve got to work do like it. But since I gave it up, nothing I’ve found has really filled its place to give me an appetite and the feeling I’d a right to a good time. To sit back and let others work while you fan your face–I can’t help it, I feel a sort of disgrace in it. I know better, it’s just the way I feel. I know all the while that’s the way the world was 358planned, some to be rich and some to be poor–Think how rich King Solomon was! And your dear father!–some to work and some not, with changes round about once in a while, like in my case, and crosses and trials and temptations belonging to every state, and the love of God and a quiet heart possible in every state. And I’ve always had such respect for moneyed people and their refined ways.... But if you want me to start in now and do differently from what I’ve been doing, I tell you truly, I don’t know how I’m going to do it, Tom. I’d rather not have the money at all.”
“You won’t have it, Nell, dear. You’ve only to keep on, and you won’t have it.”
“All right. Then I’ll go back to work and never happier in my life. I’m strong and able, I’ve got years of work in me. And if you think I’ve grown so devoted to all these frills that I couldn’t give them up, you’ll see!”
“Of course I haven’t the faintest right to control your use of your money–”
“But of course you have, Tom,”–her tone changed at once, and was eagerly humble,–“every right. You can take it away from me any moment you please. Who has a right, I should like to know, if not you?”
“Well, then, Nell, I’m going to make a suggestion. What you have said shows me that simple advice would be of no use in this case. Don’t think, girl, that I don’t get at your way of seeing the matter. If I appear cold toward it, if I don’t seem to sympathize, it’s because the logical results would land you in a hole from which I’d feel a call by and by to try to pull you out. See?–As a promise to keep inside of your income would apparently embitter life to you, I won’t ask for it, merely suggesting the fitness of 359trying to observe such a restriction. Even as regards your power to throw it away, there’ll be a lot more of it to throw if you respect your capital. However, the money is yours, to do exactly what you please with, but this I ask: empower me to turn some part of it into an annuity, unalienable and modestly sufficient.”
“An annuity? What’s that?”