But still the thing kept repeating itself-“You mustn’t let yourself grow old.”
“Let! Let! Let!”
That word finally got to hammering itself in my tired brain. I tried to get away from it, but I couldn’t. There was something accusing about it, like the gesture of a pointed finger. It seemed to put the blame of all my failure up to me-some wrong understanding in myself.
And then came my first experience with the Voice!
I call it the Voice, for I don’t know what else to call it. But I know that some Power outside a man’s own being can speak to him in the time of his need; when his ego is weakened by the discouragement of defeat. When he listens, he learns and is helped. For this Voice teaches Life! Our schools and churches have taught us systems and creeds.
I had pulled up a chair to the kitchen table, on which I had set out a scrambled sort of supper. I was going over to Brooklyn as soon as I had finished eating. The “Let! Let! Let!” was still pounding away in my thoughts. Finally I halted in my supper, set down my coffee-cup and asked:-
“Have I let myself grow old?”
And the Voice replied quickly:-
“Yes. You should be now right in your prime, knowing how to use and enjoy life. If you are thrown on the dump-heap, it is because you have put your own self there.”
You may laugh. You may say that I was tired and a little woozy in the head. But I know the Voice did speak. It spoke to my inner consciousness, but the thoughts were not my own. I even winced from some of the things it said.