Friendship is one of God’s favours, says the Quran. And hold fast by the covenant of Allah all together and be not disunited, and remember the favour of Allah on you when you were enemies, then He united your marts so by His favour you became brethren[50]. The Prophet says: Those amongst you are my close companions who have good dispositions, are affectionate and tenderly love each other. And again: “God when He shows His kindness towards any person gives him a Good friend.”[51] “Verily God will say on the day of resurrection where are those who loved each other for my sake; today they shall rest under my shelter when there is no other shelter.”[52]
“Seven kinds of men will, on the Day of Judgment, rest under His shelter when there will be no other shelter:—(1) A just Imam, (2) An adult who is devoted to God, (3) A man who after coming out from the mosque finds his heart attached to it till he enters again, (4) Two friends who lived and died in their friendship for God’s sake, (5) He who for fear of the Lord wept in secret, (6) He whom a beautiful woman of good birth allures but he replies: I have fear of my Lord, (7) He who gives alms in a manner that his left hand does not know what is given by his right hand.”[53]
Friendship, then, is God’s favour and should be cultivated for His sake. But if we shun the company of our fellowmen let it also be for God’s sake. “The strongest rope of Faith”, says the Prophet, “is love and hate both for God’s sake.”
Christ says, “Love God by avoiding the wicked; seek His nearness by shunning their company and please Him by courting their displeasure.” “With whom should we keep company, O Word of God”, asked the people. And Christ replied, “Sit with those whose appearance reminds you of God, whose words add to the stock of your knowledge and whose actions serve as an incentive for acquiring the kingdom of Heaven.”
God spoke to Moses saying, “Son of Amran be up and find out a friend for thee and he who would not be with thee for my good will is thy enemy.”
Choose a friend who has five qualities viz: wisdom, good disposition, abstinence from sin, heresy and greed.
A fool’s company gives no good, it ends in gloom. Good disposition is necessary in as much as a man may be wise but be subservient to his inordinate passion and hence unfit for company. And a sinner and a heretic are to be avoided for the simple reason that they who have no fear of the Lord and are regardless of committing forbidden actions are not to be relied on. Besides contagion will secretly spread and he too will think of sin lightly and gradually lose power of resisting it. And a greedy worldling is to be avoided because his company will deaden the heart in the quest of the kingdom of Heaven.
Alkama on his death bed gave a fine description of a friend. “My son”, said he, “If you wish to keep company try to find out such a friend who, when you live with him defends you, adds to your prestige, bears the load of your hardships, helps you in your doings, counts your virtues, dissuades you from vices, readily responds to your requests, inquires himself for your needs when you keep quiet, shows his deep sympathy in your sufferings, bears witness to your sayings, gives good advice when you intend to do some work and prefers you to his own self when difference arises between you and him.” This piece of advice gives the qualities of a friend in a nutshell. When Caliph Mamun the Abbaside heard of it, he said, “Where should we find such a friend”. And Yahya replied, “Alkama’s description means that we should live in retirement.”
Imam Jafar ‘Assadiq’ (the veracious) gives a negative description of a friend. “Do not keep company with five sorts of men viz: a false man who deceives you like a mirage; a fool who cannot benefit you, (even if he tries to do so he would do harm through his foolishness;) a miser who when you need his help the most, severs himself from you; a coward who will leave you when you are in danger; a wicked sinner who will sell you for a piece of bread.”