I thought it best therefore not to compromise any of my converts, and gave them to understand that I could no longer receive them, at that time, as a congregation. Nevertheless, on Sundays I admitted a few to private worship; and sometimes we met at each other's houses, or in some artist's studio, where it was our custom to read a portion of the Bible, and offer up our prayers: and I am assured that many still continue to do so, in such a manner as to evade the search that is made for them without ceasing by the government, the despotic and uncharitable government of the Priests. May the Lord continue in all those who have thus far received the truth, that fervent spirit which shall enable them to hold fast together, until it shall please Him to reunite us, free citizens, under liberal laws, such as His gracious providence has bestowed on other nations!
On the 2d of July the French troops entered Rome. An army of forty thousand men, with all the resources of military art, had laid siege to the city, and for three months remained under its walls; one-third of which time was passed in hard fighting, with heavy loss on both sides, but chiefly on theirs. After a continual thundering of artillery, a bombardment in fact of fifteen days, a breach was effected and mounted: but nevertheless the city was not entered until the enemy learned that no further resistance could be maintained; when the wearied, half-famished troops, covered with dust and scorched by the sun, made their inglorious entry into Rome, with a tremendous park of artillery, and every hostile demonstration, to receive from the entire populace unequivocal marks of scorn and derision, even from the women and children.
In those unhappy days I did not leave the house. Grieved to see the overthrow of a government which the majority of the people had ardently longed for, the only one fitting for our country, in the estimation of every one who is no longer content to endure the deadening influence of the Papal yoke,—indignant at beholding a foreign power so disgracefully violate its own honour, its own laws, in order to invade and oppress a people that had no way offended it, I preferred, as many others did, to remain at home, that I might neither see nor hear what was going on. I was sufficiently rewarded for doing so, in a series of agreeable visits; from morning till night I had persons with me conversing on religious matters, and I had frequent opportunities of distributing the Bible among them, and through them to others.
On the 24th of June I had entered into the married state. During the seven years that I had been emancipated from Rome, I might at any time have done so. And at first I had seriously thought of it, seeing that I was at the head of a small establishment, and imagining that a wife would greatly lighten the burthen of it; besides the advantage she would have afforded me in a more free and confidential intercourse with the sex. But I objected to it for two reasons: first, because, having engaged in so difficult an undertaking as that of a religious reform in Italy, I foresaw it would be incumbent on me to journey about to different places, and that therefore I must be alone, in order to do so without hindrance or impediment; and, secondly, that my enemies might not, with their accustomed calumny, assert that my desertion of the Romish Church had been solely prompted by my desire to renounce my celibacy. For although that in itself might have been accounted a sufficient reason to abandon the faithless Church, so prophetically described by St. Paul as "forbidding to marry, and commanding to abstain from meats,"[114] yet I should not have wished it to be said that I had been actuated by that motive only, and not by higher and more spiritual ones. But I afterwards saw the necessity and even the duty of such a step, since by taking it I should place myself in a state of equality with other men. The words of St. Paul to Timothy, "A bishop must be the husband of one wife," I consider to be something more than mere advice that Christian pastors should marry. For my own part I have always inveighed against the law of celibacy, and invariably have advised my friends to enter, as early as they prudently might, into the conjugal state. Why should not I then do so, whilst yet in the prime of life?
"What a scandal to the Church," I observed one day to some Romish priests, "is this vow of celibacy among the clergy. And after all, if considered synonymous with that of chastity, where is it kept sacred? Rarely indeed! by either bishop, cardinal, or pope. As to the lower order of priests, what with temptation from within and example from without, the vow is continually violated; and if the observance of it be alike injurious to nature and to society, as it unquestionably is, can it be good in itself, or proper to be enforced?"
"Well, then," said they, "show us how we can release ourselves from our vow."
"The Republican Government," I answered, "have made a law which declares that these vows shall be no longer binding, and that every citizen shall enjoy equal rights. This law, which was issued in the month of May last, authorized all of us to marry, since the sole legal impediment was the pretext of a binding vow of celibacy."
"It is very true," observed one of the priests, "we are now at liberty to get married in Rome; but no one as yet has had the courage to set the example."
"Then I will," I exclaimed; "I promise you that before this Government is at an end, I shall be married, and so set the example of a holy action in Rome."