Pondering over my plan with the utmost coolness, I went and bought some balls of lead as large as my pockets would hold, and as heavy as I could bear, to carry to the Tower, where I intended to go on foot. On my way I was strengthened in my purpose by the reflection, that if I continued to live I should be tormented for the remainder of my days by the pale shade of the Charpillon reproaching me as her murderer. I even congratulated myself on being able to carry out my purpose without any effort, and I also felt a secret pride in my courage.
I walked slowly on account of the enormous weight I bore, which would assure me a speedy passage to the bottom of the river.
By Westminster Bridge my good fortune made me meet Sir Edgar, a rich young Englishman, who lived a careless and joyous life. I had made his acquaintance at Lord Pembroke’s, and he had dined with me several times. We suited one another, his conversation was agreeable, and we had passed many pleasant hours together. I tried to avoid him, but he saw me, and came up and took me by the arm in a friendly manner.
“Where are you going? Come with me, unless you are going to deliver some captive. Come along, we shall have a pleasant party.”
“I can’t come, my dear fellow, let me go.”
“What’s the matter? I hardly recognized you, you looked so solemn.”
“Nothing is the matter.”
“Nothing? You should look at your face in the glass. Now I feel quite sure that you are going to commit a foolish action.”
“Not at all.”
“It’s no good denying it.”