One day he saw a murderer, who was lame, and could not therefore escape, being carried off by the police. "See, friends," he said, "Justice, lame though she be, can bring the doer of evil to account, if he also be lame."
During a journey through Italy he met a courtier, who, desirous of acting the critic to Ottonieri, began: "I will speak candidly, if you will allow me." "I will listen attentively," said the other, "for, as a traveller, I appreciate uncommon things."
Being in need of money, he once asked a loan from a certain man, who, excusing himself on the plea of poverty, added that were he rich, the necessities of his friends would be his first thought. "I should be truly sorry were you to bestow on us such a valuable moment," replied Ottonieri: "God grant you may never become rich!"
When young, he wrote some verses, using certain obsolete expressions. At the request of an old lady he recited them to her. She professed ignorance of their meaning, and said that in her day such words were not in use. Ottonieri replied: "I thought they might have been, simply because they are very ancient."
Of a certain very rich miser who had been robbed of a little money, he said: "This man behaved in a miserly manner even to thieves."
He said of a man who had a mania for calculating on every possible occasion: "Other men make things; this fellow counts them."
Being asked his opinion about a certain old terra-cotta figure of Jove, over which some antiquaries were disputing, he said: "Do you not see that it is a Cretan Jove?"
Of a foolish fellow, who imagined himself to be an admirable reasoner, yet was illogical whenever he spoke two words, he said: "This person exemplifies the Greek definition of man, as a 'logical animal.'"
When on his deathbed, he composed this epitaph, which was subsequently engraved on his tomb:
HERE LIE
THE BONES OF
PHILIP OTTONIERI.
BORN FOR VIRTUE AND GLORY,
HE LIVED IDLE AND USELESS,
AND DIED IN OBSCURITY;
NOT WITHOUT A KNOWLEDGE OF NATURE
AND HIS OWN DESTINY.