The Comic History of Rome

by Gilbert Abbott À Beckett

Pompeius Cneius was born on the 30th of September, B.C. 106, a few months later than Cicero, and breathed his first at about the time when Jugurtha breathed his last, in a Roman prison. The family of Pompey belonged to the plebs; and one of his ancestors may be said to have lived upon air, for he was by profession a flute-player. His father, Pompeius Strabo, had imbibed aristocratic ideas, and fought in the Marsic War; but he seems to have despised the laurel of fame for the more profitable branch of plunder. His wealth had been considerable; and after his death his son was accused of having participated in the ill-gotten gains, when young Pompey, knowing the corruption of the tribunals, married the daughter of the judge, as a sure mode of getting a decision in his favour.

His acquittal followed as a matter of course; for when public officials were immersed in every kind of selfishness and degradation, the sinking of the judge in the father-in-law was comparatively venial. By dishonest means the elder Pompey had come to a great estate, from a low condition; and the son sought to hide, in the abundance of his means, the meanness of his origin. He became proud and upstart, evincing a predilection for aristocracy, which often animates those of lofty talent and low birth; who frequently affect the littlenesses of the nominally great, instead of showing that true greatness can exist among the so-called little. Self aggrandisement was his grand, or rather his petty, object; and he owes to his ignoble attempts to elevate himself, the low place he occupies in the opinion of the impartial historian.

Soon after his return from Asia to Rome, he celebrated a triumph, which had all the attributes of a vulgar puff; for there were carried before him long lists of his achievements, followed by several wagon-loads of goods, the produce of much pillage. Finding his political designs opposed by Cato and others, he was anxious to form a party of his own; and C. J. Cæsar, who saw the necessities of Pompey, determined on turning them to his own advantage. He made overtures, to which the other listened, and effected a reconciliation between Pompey and Crassus, who having both met, were capable of contributing in more senses than one to the success of the plans of Cæsar. These three men entered into a sort of political union, which is usually distinguished by the name of The First Triumvirate.

Cæsar had become Consul in the year of the City 694, (B.C. 59) when the party of the Senate, wishing to have a check upon him, practised every sort of bribery to obtain the election of one Bibulus as his colleague. This individual was a mere nobody, with a remarkable deficiency of head; and the small wits of the day were accustomed to date their notes "in the Consulship of Julius and Cæsar," instead of in the Consulship of Cæsar and Bibulus.

It is a remarkable fact that despotism always looks for its tools among those whom it designs for its victims; and there are no instruments so ready as the people themselves to put an end to popular liberty. It is the policy of a tyrant to destroy all power but his own; and the destruction of legal authority is always favourable to those who are playing the game of unprincipled ambition. Cæsar began by flattering the people at the expense of the Senate; and he enacted that records of the proceedings of the latter should be published under the title of Acta Diurna, which may be regarded as the origin of our journals of the House of Commons, and our daily newspapers. A second measure was a sort of Insolvent Act, for the benefit of the farmers of the public revenue, who, in their anxiety to obtain the contract, had offered more than they could pay for the privilege of collecting the taxes. His third great project was an agrarian law, in conformity with which any pauper citizen who could show at least three children—whether genuine, or borrowed for the occasion, it might have been difficult to ascertain—were entitled to a grant of land in Campania. This premium on improvident marriages called forth such an overwhelming demonstration of paternity, that the ground in Campania fell far short of the quantity of fatherland that was required; and it was necessary to purchase several thousands of acres, in order to widen the field for the operations of Cæsar. Bibulus opposed the measure; but his opposition, though for the moment busy, proved idle in the end; when, disgusted with failure, he shut himself up in his house for the rest of the year; and every one said that he had been completely shut up by his more powerful colleague.

Cæsar was now more desirous than ever of a near alliance with Pompey; and, in order to draw the bands closer, the former gave his daughter in marriage to the latter, though the gentleman was obliged to put away his old wife, Mucia, to make room for the new; and the lady, Julia, was under the necessity of breaking off an engagement with an intended husband. In order to constitute a strong family party for carrying on the government, Cæsar himself married Calpurnia, the daughter of L. Calpurnius Piso, who, by means of private influence, was made consul for the ensuing year with A. Gabinus.

It was customary for a retiring Consul to have a province assigned to him for a single year; but Cæsar having worked all the principal public departments with tools of his own, obtained, by a flagrant violation of the Constitution, a prolonged lease of his own power. The rich provinces of Cisalpine Gaul and Illyrium were assigned to him for five years; and Transalpine Gaul was afterwards added by the Senate, because they saw the people were so completely under his influence, that they would either have given him all he asked, or he would have taken all he wanted without asking it.

Among the members of the aristocracy of this degenerate age of the Roman republic was one Clodius, whose name, like himself, was a corruption of Claudius, for he belonged to the family of the Claudii. This disreputable profligate had obtained an infamous notoriety during the festival of the Bona Dea, whose rites were celebrated on the first of May; and being conducted exclusively by women, the ceremony was no doubt one of a most confused and tedious character. Clodius having disguised himself in a female dress, passed unnoticed amid the din of many tongues, till female curiosity detected him in a flirtation with the wife of Cæsar, whose house was the scene of the festival. Clodius was brought to trial for the offence, and sent a retainer to Cicero, with instructions to the orator to prove an alibi. Instead of following the modern professional course of adopting any falsehood, however gross, for the sake of a client, Cicero hurried into the opposite extreme, and, indignantly throwing up his brief, not only rushed into the witness-box to give evidence against the accused, but threw up his cause in an explosive burst of eloquence. Notwithstanding this remarkable instance of honesty at the bar, there was so much corruption on the bench, that Clodius bribed the judge by throwing into the scales of justice a sum of gold which turned the balance in his favour. Clodius threatened revenge, and promised to stick to Cicero through life, for having cast him off, and refused to stick to him at such a momentous crisis.

Cicero throws up his Brief, like a Gentleman.