“Basil says I’m——”
“I know that, but that’s only the outcome of the trouble.”
Minna was interested. She sat up on the sofa with her hands between her knees.
“How clever you are, Serge! No one else has ever thought of that. Everybody else is quarrelling as to whether I did or did not.”
“Did you?”
“No. That comes long after the mischief’s done. The trouble between Basil and me is simply this. Basil wants me to be a mother to him and I can’t. People are simply sickening about mothers. I’m a woman first and a mother afterwards. Being a mother grows out of being a woman. . . . Basil wants me to be a work of art in theory and a mother in practice. I simply couldn’t do it. . . . It’s my own fault. I knew Basil was like that before I married him. I had a sort of blind moment when I thought I could change him. You can’t change people. I can’t change myself. . . . I ought to have left him long ago, but Basil’s the sort of man you can’t leave. He clings. He plays on your nerves and makes you frightened. He looks at you with his big eyes and seems so helpless that you’re afraid to leave him, and you don’t like hurting him. He simply makes you be a mother to him and then takes advantage of it, and things go from bad to worse. . . . London seemed to frighten him, took away all his courage and his ambition. London’s too big for him. He wants to be at the top of the tree all at once, simply because he’s afraid of the climb. . . . We should have done better to stay at home.”
“That wouldn’t have made any difference.”
“No, I suppose not. I am I and Basil is Basil and that’s the whole story, and it’s just like a man of that sort to turn round and try to kill you when you won’t let him cling to you any longer.”
Minna’s voice became venomous.