Such was my condition when, after three weeks’ training, I was called before the examination committee.
XIV: THE EXAMINATION
Nothing in all my strange experiences astonished me so much as the lack of ceremony in this matter of fatherhood. It was approached with a brutal disinterestedness, a cynical disregard of feeling equalled only by men of pleasure in other countries. I was filled with rage when I was introduced to the committee of middle-aged and elderly women and exposed to their cold scrutiny. First of all I was told to stand at the end of the hall and repeat the poem of William Christmas. I had been made to get it by heart, but in my distress I substituted the word Ram for the word Stallion. The chairwoman rapped angrily on the table.
“Why do you say Ram for Stallion?”
I replied: “Because it more aptly describes my condition. There is nobility in the stallion, but the ram is a foolish beast.”
There was a consultation, after which the chairwoman bade me approach and said:
“Your medical report is excellent but we are afraid you lack mental simplicity. You are an educated man.”
“I am an American citizen,” I replied proudly, “and I protest against the treatment to which I have been subjected.”
“We know nothing of that,” retorted the chairwoman. “You are before us as L.D. 8150, recommended for paternal duties and, if passed, to be entered in the stud-book. Your record since you have been in the country is a bad one, but points to the possession of a spirit which for our purposes may be valuable.”
I said: “You may call me what you like; you may register me in any book you please, send me where you choose, but I am a married man and will not oblige you.”