Suicide, is it? [With a short laugh.] No, I won't do that for you. The thought of it gives me all my natural spirit again.
Vera.
Yon cannot be afraid of that too?
Carlyon.
Afraid? No. But I have not finished living. Do you think I am an old man? There is as much blood and muscle in my arms as there ever was. I feel life leaping in every limb. I won't kill myself. No! nor let another man kill me! And I won't bear that penance either. There are other places besides England and British India.
Vera.
Oh, why do you rage like this? Can you not face your hour when it comes, take your defeat, like a strong man, steadily?
Carlyon.
Defeat? Defeat? From him and his crazy natives? Who will believe their story against mine? [She is silent. A slight pause.] But suppose I confess all. Suppose I stand up straight before all Englishmen and bid them judge me: "Here I am: I have broken rules and treaties; I have fought with all weapons; I have had no law nor conscience nor pity—for your enemies! I am yours to chain or unchain; I am your fighting man, your bloodhound, your leashed panther! Have you no use for me?" Do you think, among all the swarming cowards that govern us, I shall not bring a host to my side when I say that?