The Substance I'll enjoy.
After these Adventures were over, Amaryllis likewise submitted to Matrimony with a Gentleman of Ferara; and they both enjoy'd the greatest Happiness, making no difficulty to forget all Sorrows past. The next Intrigues I shall mention, are of two famous Hermaphrodites, who were more vigorous than common in their Parts, at Urbino. It is not many Years ago (as the Story relates) that there liv'd at Urbino two Hermaphrodites, famous for their Intrigues, and indeed they were arriv'd to that consummate pitch of Impudence, that they were not asham'd to own their Bestiality, they not only frolick'd with each other, but with both Sexes in general; their Names were Diana and Isabella, both of reputable Birth, and well Educated. Diana on a Time being invited to the Nuptials of a certain Nobleman of Urbino, accompanied him to the House of a noted Clergyman, some distance from the Residence of Diana, to be a Witness to the solemnization of the Marriage, and being arriv'd there, every thing was instantly provided for the Ceremony; the Bride was attir'd in the richest Brocade Silks, with the finest Linnen that could be purchas'd; her Neck and Breasts were exposed very low, and heav'd with Desire, filling the Bridegroom with amorous Imaginations, her Hair was adorn'd with the most beautiful and odorous Flowers, which surrounded her heavenly Face, and made it appear like a Rose in its bloom, in a delightful Garden, just ready to be gathered. The Bridegroom was dress'd in Cloth of Gold, and Linnen of Flanders lac'd; on his Head was a flaxen Peruke reaching to his Waste of very great Value, and by his Side a Sword, whose Hilt was set with Diamonds.
The Parson by this time being ready to perform his Office, the Bride and Bridegroom, and Diana were usher'd into a great Hall, hung round with Scripture Paintings, particularly of our Saviour, illustrating his whole Life from his Birth, and being laid in the Manger to the Time of his Crucifixion. When the Service was over, and the wedded Couple had join'd their Hands and Hearts, a splendid Entertainment was provided by the Parson to refresh them after the Fatigue of their Journey, which continuing 'till it was late in the Evening, the Bride and Bridegroom, and Diana had not time for their Return to Urbino, whereupon the Parson, in good Manners, first took Notice of it, and withal offer'd them the Use of his House, which they accepted, considering it would at least be hazardous, if not impossible to reach Urbino that Night.
The Bride and Bridegroom, and all the Company, were as merry as was possible, and after Supper, Directions were given by the Parson for preparing the Beds; but before the usual Time of retiring to Rest, his Brother coming accidentally from Bonona, there arose some Difficulty with the Parson in the disposal of his Guests, he having no more Beds than two at liberty: At last they agreed that Diana should lye with the Parson's Wife, who was a very handsom Woman, and the Parson and his Brother were to pig together, whereby there would be a Bed at the Service of the Bride and Bridegroom. Several Bottles of Champaign and Burgundy, and of fine Italian Wines being drank, the Bride and Bridegroom were put to Bed with a great deal of Solemnity; afterwards Diana and the Parson's Wife were lighted to their Apartment, and he and his Brother repair'd to theirs.
Diana observing the Parson's Wife to be a beautiful Woman, particularly as she undress'd her self, had a very strong Inclination for her usual Sportings; and in order to carry on an Intrigue with safety, she softly bolted the Chamber Door, which being done, they both went to Bed, the Parson's Wife putting out the Candle. They had not been long in Bed before Diana began to kiss the Parson's Wife with Freedom, but she not suspecting any thing farther, and supposing it might proceed more from Wine than any thing else was pretty easy, 'till at last Diana threw her self upon her, and began an Adventure, very displeasing, which surpriz'd her to that degree, that she cried out vehemently.
The Family, which had not been long at rest, alarm'd at this unseasonable Noise, arose; the Parson came to his Wife's Chamber Door, and finding it bolted within, he call'd to her to know the occasion of this Disturbance; she answer'd, "That she had a Man or a Monster in Bed with her, one that was then violating her Person." The Parson supposing this to be a Design to Cuckold him, order'd his Servants to break open the Chamber Door, which being instantly effected, he rescu'd his Wife from the Power of Diana. After this he seiz'd Diana, and upon Examination, finding her to be an Hermaphrodite, having the Members of both Sexes, he order'd his Servants to carry her to the Garret, and tye her hands and Legs together, and then to put her into the Bed of the Maid-Servant. This being done, the Parson went to Bed again, as did likewise his Wife, and the Family was at rest the whole Night; and the Noise, though it was great, did not disturb the Bride and Bridegroom after their Enjoyments of Wine and Love.
The next Morning the Parson arose early, and going to the Bride and Bridegroom, acquainted them with what had happen'd relating to his Wife and Diana, who expressing a very great Concern, and withal protesting, that the Injury was offer'd without the least Design on their Parts, the Parson was reconcil'd to them, but turn'd Diana out of Door with the Indignity she deserv'd. Diana immediately return'd to Urbino, as did likewise the Bride and Bridegroom some Hours after, having first made the Parson a Present of a Purse of Gold for his Service and very great Civility.
It was not long after this, that Isabella walking in the Streets of Urbino, in the close of the Evening, a Foreign Count, of luscious Inclinations passing by her, gave her an amorous Look, and addressing her with a great deal of Complaisance, she seem'd for his Purpose, and indeed she long'd for a pleasing Variety, having met with no uncommon Adventure for a considerable Time.