And albeit, to kisse in shewe of reverence, of very right appertaineth to the reliques of Saints and there holy matters: yet if it bee the maner of your country, at parting, to say: Signori, Io vi bascio la mano. Or: Io son vostro servidore: Or els: vostro schiavo in catena: you must not disdaine it, more then other. But, In farewelles and writings, you must salute and take leave, not as reason, but as custome will have you: and not as men wont in times past, or should doe: but as men use at this day: for it is a chorlishe maner to say: What greate gentleman is he I pray you, that I must master him: Or: is he becom master parson, that I must kisse his hands? for he that is wont to be (Sird) and likewise (Sirreth) other: may thinke you disdaine him, and use some outrage unto him, when you call him to his face, by his bare name, and give him no addition.
And these termes of Seignory, service, & duetye, and such other like unto these, as I have saide: have lost a greate parte of their harshnes, and (as hearbes long steepte in the water) are sweetened, and made softe and tender, by reason of muche speache in mens mouthes, and continuall use to speake them. So that we must not abhorre them, as some rude and rusticall fellowes, full of foolishe simplicitie, doe: that would faine beginne the letters we write to Kinges and Emperours after this sort, vz. If thou and thy children be in healthe it is well: I am also in healthe: saying, that suche was the beginning of the letters, the Latins did write to the magistrates of Rome. If men should live by their measure, and go backe to those fashions and maners, our first fathers did use: the worlde then by litle and litle, would come so about, that we should feede uppon acornes againe.
And in these Duetifull Ceremonies, there be also certain rules and precepts, we must observe: that wee may not bee touched wt Vainesse and Pride. And first of all, wee must consider the country where wee doe live. For all customes be not currant a like in all countreys. And peradventure that which they use in Naples, which is a Citye replenished with gentlemen, of good houses, and Lordes of greate power, were not so fitte for Florens and Luke: Which are inhabited, for the most part, with Merchants and plaine gentlemen, without any Prince, Marques, or Barone amongest them. So that the brave and Lordelike manners of the gentlemen of Naples transported to Florence: should be but waste, and more then needes: like a tall mans gowne cast over a dwarfe: as also the manners of Florence shoulde be to pinchinge and straite, for the Noble natures and mindes of the gentlemen of Naples. And although the gentlemen of Venice use great embracings and entertainementes amongst themselves, and fawne without measure the one on the other, by reason of their offices, degrees and favours they looke to finde when they meete and assemble to choose their officers: yet for all this, it is not convenient, that the good men of Rouigo, or the Citizens of Asolo, should use the like solemnities, embraceings and entertainements one to another, haveing no such kinde of cause amongst them: Albeit all that same countrie (if I bee not deceived) is falne a litle, into these kinde of follies, as over carelesse and apt inough by nature, or rather learning those maners of Venice their Lady and Mistris: because Everie man gladly seeketh to tread the steps of his better: although there be no reason for it.
Moreover we must have a regarde to the time, to the age, and the condition of him, to whom we use these ceremonies, and likewise respect our owne calling: and with men of credite maintaine them: but wt men of small account cut them of cleane, or at least, abridge them as muche as wee may, & rather give them a becke then a due garde: Which the courtiers in Rome can very well skill to doe.
But in some cases these Ceremonies be very combersome to a mans busines, and very tedious: as "Cover your head," sayes the Judge, yt is busied wt causes, and is scanted of time to dispatche them. And this fellow so full of these Ceremonies, after a number of legges and shuflinge curtesis, aunswers againe: "Sir I am very well thus." But sayes the Judge againe, "Cover your head I say." Yet this good fellow tourning twise or thrise to & fro, making lowe conges downe to the grounde wt muche reverence and humilitie, aunswers him, still: "I beseache your worship, let me doe my duetie." This busines and trouble lasteth so long, & so muche time is trifled: that the Judge might very nere have dispatched all his busines within that space. Then, although it be every honest mans parte, and the duety of every meaner body, to honour the Judges, and men yt be called to worship & honour: yet, where time will not beare it: it is a very troublesome thing to use it, and it must be eschewed, or measured with reason.
Neither be ye self same Ceremonies semely for young men, respecting their Age: yt ould men doe use together. Nor yet can it becom men of meane and base condition, to use the very same, yt gentlemen & greate men may use one to another. And if wee marke it well, we shall find, yt the greatest, ye best men, & men of most valour, doe not alwayes use ye most Ceremonies them selves, nor yet love nor looke a man should make many goodly curtsies unto them, as men that can ill spend their thoughts one matters so vaine.
Neither must handy crafts men, nor men of base condition, buisie them selves to much, in over solemne Ceremonies to greate men, and Lordes: it is not lookt for in suche. For they disdaine them, more then allowe them: because it seemes that in such, they seeke, & looke, rather for obedience and duetie, then honour. And therefore it is a foule faulte in a servaunt, to offer his master his service: for he counts it his shame, & he thinks the servant doth make a doubt, whether he is master or no; as if it were not in him to imploy him, & commaund him too. These kinde of Ceremonies would be used frankely. For, What a man dothe of duetie, is taken for a debte, and hee finds him selfe litle beholding to him that doth it. But he that dothe more then he is bound to: it seems he parteth with somewhat, and that makes men to love him, and to commende him for a liberall man. And I remember mee well, I have hearde it saide, that a worthy Graecian a greate versifier, was ever wont to saye: that He that could skill to entertaine men with a small adventure, made a greate gaine.
You shall then use youre Ceremonies, as the tailer shapes his garments, rather to large then to litle: but yet not so, that hee cutteth one hose large inough to make a cloke. And if thou doe use in this point, some litle gentle behaviour, to suche as be meaner then thy selfe: thou shalt be counted lowly. And if thou doe asmuche to thy betters: thou shalt bee saide a Gentleman well taught, and courtious. But hee that dothe herin to muche, and is over lavishe, shalbe blamed as vaine and light: and perhaps worse thought of too: counted a busie body, a fidging fellowe, and in wise mens sight, a flatterer: which vice, our elders have called, (if I doe not forget me) dowble diligence. And there is no faulte in the worlde, more to bee abhorred, or yt worsse beseemes a gentleman, then this. And this is the thirde maner of Ceremonies, which simply procedeth of our owne will, and not of custome.
Let us then remember, that Ceremonies, (as I have alwayes said) were not so necessarie by nature, but a man might doe well inough without them: As for example, our countrie lived (it is not long since) in maner cleane without any. But other mens diseases have infected us, with these infirmities and many mo. So that, custome and use observed: the rest that is more, is but waste: and such a sufferable leesing, as if it be more in deede then is in use, it is not only unsufferable, but forbidden: and so uppon, the matter, a cold and unsavourie thing to noble mindes, that cannot brouse uppon shrubbes and shewes.
And you shall understand, that trusting my owne skill but little, in writing this present treatise: I thought good to consult with many, and to take the Judgement of better learned men then my selfe. And this in my reading I finde. There was a King, they call him Oedipus: being banished and driven out of his countrie (uppon what occasion I know not) he fled to King Theseus at Athens, the better to save him selfe and his life, from his enemies, that mainely pursued him. This Oedipus now comming before the presence of Theseus, by good chaunce hearing his daughter speake, (whome he knew by her voice, for he was blind and could not beholde her with his eyes) he was so presently striken with joy, that, not tarying to doe his allegeaunce and duetie to the King, he did presently embrace, & make much of his daughter before him: his fatherly affection so led him, and rulde him so. But in the end finding his fault, and better advising himselfe of his doings: he would needs excuse it to Theseus, & humbly prayd his grace to pardon his folly. The good and wise King, cut of his talke, and bad him leave his excuses, and thus saide unto him: Comfort thy selfe, Oedipus, and bee not dismayd at that thou hast done. For I will not have my life honoured with other mens woordes, but with my owne deedes. Which sentence a man should have alwayes in mind.