Why should turkeys, fowls, geese, and ducks be carried to market, with feet tied, and hung over poles head downwards, or huddled together in cramped baskets, and kept, sometimes, in such pain and suffering that death itself must be sweet relief?
Why should pigeons, and other smaller birds, be shot in so cowardly and inhumane a manner as is the fashion at matches in the present day? Cockfighting itself is much less cruel; for there each bird has a chance of life, and the wounded are slain.
For the numerous cruelties inflicted on fishes, we can hardly name a remedy yet; but has the reader ever thought of the agony which must be endured by the lobster and crab in being boiled alive?
All these outrages on animal life might be prevented or greatly ameliorated by just and proper laws. England, I trust, will be the first to take the lead in this matter; and, depend upon it, that nation’s arm will always be the strongest on the day of battle, that, in the time of peace, is employed in labours of love, and in the advancement of civilization and humanity.
The Mohammedans are far before us in kindness to the lower animals. “Accursed be he who spilleth blood,” is one of their sayings.
Now, the Hindoos, for instance, are a much older nation than we are. They were clothed, and in their right minds, thousands of years before we were out of pig-skin kilts and paint. We are trying to learn from theory what they have found out from long experience, and will no doubt arrive at the same conclusions after the loss of much valuable time. I know a gentleman who puts faith in no statement in the abstract, even if the speaker should be as old as Methuselah—which isn’t often the case—and as wise as Ahab, until he has carefully ground, as it were, the syllogism in his own mill, thoroughly sifted it, and microscopically examined it; then he looks surprised, smiles, and says, “By George, old Thingummy was right after all.” He can’t help it however; it is the result of a too liberal education. He is constantly grinding away at a proverb. Now, I think proverbs are the pith of a nation’s experience: the wisdom of a country is skimmed off, boiled, evaporated to dryness, burned to get rid of organic impurities, and the residue washed and distilled, and the essential oil bottled—in a proverb. But my learned friend, on first hearing one, says, “Oh, nonsense! Can’t be.” The proverb haunts him, however, both by night and day, for perhaps a fortnight, perhaps longer, until it is properly thought out in all its bearings; then he believes it—not before. He would save much time by having a little more credulity; but he is getting wise, and if he lives long enough he will be very wise indeed, although the process may cost him his teeth—he is bald already.
The Hindoos have, long ago, come to the conclusion that it is wrong to take life, and accordingly they don’t—barring that they murder their wives when it is required. I think they are right, although I myself draw the line at naval cockroaches; and the fact that they are disagreeable things to kill, may have something to do with my sparing them. Besides, a cockroach has so many relations, and these all come to his funeral, and insist on seeing him decently interred. This ceremony they perform by tasting, tasting at him until nothing remains.
I was one day “counting my pieces” to my Indian washerman, on the deck of my cabin, when out from the bosom of a nightshirt dropped a nine-inch-long centipede in the full vigour of health and intellect, and began making the best of his way to the nearest shelter. Giving instant chase, and having the advantage in length of legs, if not in number, I should soon have run him down, had not the impudent Hindoo, at the very last moment, pulled me back by my frock-coat tails. Such an indignity to a British officer, on board a British man-o’-war, was hardly to be borne with impunity. I turned, and looking him full in the face in my most impressive manner—
“Sir,” said I, “are you aware that Britons never, never, NEVER—will—be—slaves?”
The dobee salaamed.