CHAPTER XI.
[See [Note K], Addenda.]
“IS CATS TO BE TRUSTED?”
“Is cats to be trusted?” was to have been the title of an essay from the pen of poor Artemus Ward. “Is cats to be trusted?” my starling has been taught to repeat, and often does so while running round the cat on the floor, examining her tail, opening up her paws with his beak, and occasionally making determined attempts to open up her nose also, and peep down her throat. As far as she is concerned, the bird is I think perfectly safe; for although she often pats him with her gloved hand when he gets too insinuating, she never otherwise attempts to molest him. I fear in his essay Artemus meant to have had a few jokes at pussy’s expense. My aim is a more serious one. A question like this, which to pussy is a most momentous one, affecting not only her comfort and happiness, but her standing as a social pet and her very existence itself, cannot be treated lightly in a work like the present. My own opinion is, and always has been, that if cats are properly fed and cared for, they will do anything rather than steal. But not content with giving my own experience, which some might say was exceptional, I have placed pussy in court, as it were, and given her a long, fair, and impartial trial, summoning evidence pro and con from every part of Great Britain and Ireland. The trial has lasted for months, and the Tichborne Case, as a Yankee would say, isn’t a circumstance to it in regard to the number of witnesses examined. The judgment has been overwhelmingly in pussy’s favour, and the verdict of the jury as follows:—
“Cats are not as a rule thieves, but quite the reverse.”
In every case investigated, where the theft was proved, it turned out that the cat was either starved, or illtreated, or spoiled. Moreover, the witnesses for the prosecution—in the minority—were, to use a homely phrase, a foggy lot, rude and illiterate, people with no definite ideas about their “h’s,” whose capitals were sown broadcast, who wrote “i Know,” and spelt cat with a “k”; while those for the defence were in every way the reverse, both socially and orthographically; people with crests and monograms, who wrote on one side of the paper only, and all letters prepaid.
So Miss Puss I think may stand down: she leaves the court without a stain upon her character.
Now, while boldly asserting that cats are as a rule honest, I do not mean to say that all are so. There are rogues among cats as well as among men; but just as we find that the law often makes men thieves, so likewise will cats become thieves if badly treated. What can be more disgraceful than the habit that some people have of systematically starving their cats, under the mistaken notion that they will thus become better mousers; or the custom of many of putting their cats out all night, no matter how wet or cold the night should be. Such treatment of pussy is greatly to be condemned, and only tends to foster habits of uncleanliness, of thieving, and of prowling. By regular feeding, good housing, occasional judicious correction—when puss is found tripping—and kindness, you may make almost any cat honest.
Pussy does not soon forget having been corrected for a fault.