Seldwyla Folks: Three Singular Tales

by Gottfried Keller

But now Zues grew jealous. Rather nettled, she spoke: "Animals all love me and like to stay with me. One of my birds remained with me for eight years, until unfortunately it died. Our cat is so fond of me that it forever purrs about me, and our neighbor's pigeons crowd about me every day when I scatter some crumbs for them on my window sill. Wonderful qualities animals have, anyway, each after its kind. The lion loves to follow in the footprints of kings and heroes, and the elephant accompanies the prince and the doughty warrior. The camel bears the merchant through the desert and keeps a store of fresh water in its belly for him. The dog again shares all the dangers with his owner and pitches himself headlong into the sea just to prove his devotion. The dolphin has a strong love for music and swims in the wake of vessels, while the eagle accompanies armies. The ape bears a strong resemblance to the human species and imitates everything he sees us do. The parrot understands our speech and converses with us just like any person of sense. Even the snakes may be tamed and then dance on the tip of their tails. The crocodile sheds human tears and is consequently in those parts esteemed and spared. The ostrich may be saddled and ridden like a horse. The savage buffalo pulls the carriage of his human master, as the reindeer does the sledge of his. The unicorn furnishes man with snow-white ivory and the tortoise with its transparent bones--"

"Beg pardon," interrupted all the three combmakers together, "herein you are slightly in error, for ivory comes from the teeth of the elephant, and tortoise-shell combs are made out of the shell of that animal and not of the bones of the tortoise."

Zues colored deeply and rejoined: "That, I believe, remains to be proved. For you certainly have not seen of your own knowledge whence it is obtained, but only work up its pieces. I as a rule make no mistakes in matters of that kind. However, be that as it may, just let me finish. Not the animals alone have their peculiarities implanted by the hand of God, but even dead minerals that are dug out of the sides of mountains. The crystal is clear as glass, marble hard and full of veins, sometimes white and sometimes black. Amber possesses electric properties and attracts lightning; but in that case it burns and smells like incense. The magnet attracts iron; on slates one can write, but not upon diamonds, for these are hard as steel; the glazier, too, uses the diamond for cutting glass, because it is small and pointed. You see, dear friends, that I can also tell you a few things about minerals and animals. But as regards my relations with them I may say this: that the cat is a sly and cunning beast, and that is why it will attach itself only to persons possessing the same characteristics. The pigeon, however, is the symbol of innocence and simplicity of mind, and may only be the companion of those similarly constituted. And since it is certain that both cats and pigeons are attracted by me, the conclusion must be that I am at the same time sly and cunning, simple-minded and innocent. As Holy Writ says, Be wise like the serpent and simple like the dove! In this way we are able to understand both animals and our relations to them, and to learn a deal, if we only look at things in the right manner."

The poor combmakers had not dared to interrupt her more. Zues had got the better of them, and she went on for some time longer at the same rate, talking about all sorts of intellectual things, until their senses were in a whirl. But they admired Zues' spirit and her eloquence, although with all their admiration none of them deemed himself too humble to possess this jewel of a woman, especially as this ornament of a house came cheap and consisted merely in an eager and tireless tongue. Whether they themselves, after all, were worthy of this that they valued so highly, and whether they would be able to utilize this gift of hers, that class of idiot seldom inquires. They are more like children who reach out for anything that glitters, who lick off the vivid paint on a multicolored toy, and who put a mouth harmonica into their little jaw instead of being content with listening to its music. But while drinking in the high-flown phrases that dropped so mellifluously from her lips, the three of them goaded on their imagination more and more, sharpened their greed to own such a distinguished person, and the more heartless, idle and parrot-like Zues' chatter became, the more melancholy and depressed became her swains. At the same time they felt a terrific thirst in consequence of having swallowed so much of this dried fruit. Jobst and the Bavarian looked for and found in the near-by woods a spring, and filled their stomachs with cold water. But the Suabian had slyly taken along a flask of cherry brandy and water, and with this he now refreshed himself. His plan had been to thus gain an advantage over the others when making the race, for well he knew that the other two were too parsimonious to bring along a stimulant like that or to turn in at a tavern on the way.

This flask he now pulled out of his pocket, and while the others drank their water he offered it to Zues. She accepted it, emptied the flask half, and regarded Dietrich while she thanked him for the refreshment with such an affectionate glance that Dietrich felt more than recompensed and tremendously encouraged in his suit. He could not withstand the temptation to seize her hand courteously and to kiss the tips of her fingers. She on her part lightly touched his lips with her hand, and he made belief of snapping at it, whereupon she smirked falsely and pleasantly at him. Dietrich answered similarly. Then the two sat down on the ground close to each other, and once in a while would touch the soles of the other's shoe with his own, almost as though they were shaking hands with their feet. Zues was bending over slightly, and laid her hand on his shoulder, while Dietrich was on the very point of imitating this little sport when the Bavarian and the Saxon returned jointly, observed this philandering, and groaned and lost color both at the same time.

From the water they had drunk on top of all this dried fruit they had become uneasy, both of them, and now that they saw the playful pair indulging in their little game, everything seemed to turn around them. Cold sweat began to break out on their foreheads, and they nearly gave themselves up for lost. Zues, however, did not for an instant lose her self-possession, but turned to the two and said: "Come, friends, sit down a little while longer here with me, so that we may enjoy, perhaps for the last time, our harmony and our undisturbed friendship."

Jobst and Fridolin pressed up quickly, and sat down, stretching out their thin legs. Zues left her one hand in the Suabian's own, gave Jobst her other one, and touched with the soles of her shoes those of Fridolin, while she turned her face to one after the other, smiling most enchantingly. Thus there are skilled virtuosi who know how to play a number of instruments at once, who shake bells with their heads, blow the Pan's pipe with their mouths, touch the guitar with their hands, strike the cymbal with their knees, with the foot a triangle, and with the elbow a drum suspended from their backs.

But now she rose, smoothed out her dress very carefully, and said: "The hour has now come, I think, my friends, when you must get ready for your great race, the race which your master in his folly has imposed on you, but which we ourselves have agreed to regard as the disposition of a higher power. Run this race with all the energy you can muster, but without enmity or rancor, and leave the crown of the victor willingly to him who has earned it."

And as if stung by a vicious wasp the three sprang up and stood up ready and eager on their legs. Thus they stood, and they were now to try and vanquish each other with the same legs with which until now they had made only slow and thoughtful steps. Not one of the three could even recall ever having used these legs jumping or running. The Suabian, perhaps, was most inclined for the venture. He even seemed to be impatient for the struggle, and an eager look was in his eyes. At that moment of severe crisis they three scanned each other's features closely; the sweat had gathered on their pale brows, and they breathed hard and spasmodically, as though they were already running at full tilt.

"Shake hands once more, in token of good feeling," said Zues. And they did so, but in so lifeless a manner that the three hands dropped to their sides as if made of lead.