Seldwyla Folks: Three Singular Tales

by Gottfried Keller

"No, no, you must not leave me just now. I feel that I am becoming very ill!" Thus she lamented.

"I don't care, ill or not ill," he cried, and tore himself loose from her. He quickly climbed a rock whence he was able to overlook the whole highroad below. There they were, he saw the two runners far away, deep below towards the town. And then he made up his mind to a great spurt, but at the same moment once more looked back for Zues. Then he saw her, seated at the entrance to a shady wood path, and motioning to him with her lily hand. This was too much for him. Instead of hurrying down the hill, he hastened back to her. And when she saw him coming, she turned and went in deeper into the cool wood, all the time casting inviting glances at him, for her object was, of course, to draw him away from the race and cheat him out of his victory, make him lose and thus render his further stay in Seldwyla impossible.

But Dietrich, the Suabian, was, as pointed out before, of an inventive and resourceful turn. Thus it was that he, too, quickly made up his mind to alter his tactics, and to score victory not down there but up here. And thus things came to pass very much differently from what had been calculated on. For as soon as he had come up with her in a sheltered spot in the depth of the forest, he fell at her feet and overwhelmed her with the most ardent declarations of his love for her to which any combmaker ever gave expression. At first she made a great attempt to withstand his wooing, bade him be quiet and desist from his violent protestations, and to befool him a little while longer until all danger of his winning should be past. She let loose the torrent of her wisdom and learning, and tried to awe him. But the young Suabian was not to be caught with this chaff. Paying not the slightest regard to all these rhetorical fireworks, he let loose Heaven and Hell in his stormy suit, lavishing caresses and blandishments on the surprised maiden by which he finally stifled the voice of her severely attuned conscience, and his excited and ready wit furnished him with enough of love's ammunition to overcome all her scruples. His eloquence and his bold and ever persistent wheedling and dandling gave her not a second's respite nor leisure to reflect and deliberate. He first took possession of her hands and feet, to kiss and fondle them, despite her strenuous protests, and next he flattered her to the top of her bent, lauding both her bodily and mental charms to the very skies, until Zues was in a very paradise of self-glorification and satisfied vanity. Added to this was the solitude and the sense of security from curious and peering eyes in the leafy shade of the forest. Until at last Zues really lost the compass to which hitherto she had clung as her safe though rather selfish guide through life. She succumbed to all these allurements, not so much by reason of exalted sensualism, as because for the moment she was overcome and helpless against the stronger and more primitive passion of this young man. Her heart fluttered timidly up and down, and vainly attempted to find its former balance. Her thoughts were in a perfect storm of contradictions, and she was altogether like a poor impotent beetle turned over on its back and struggling to recover the use of its limbs. And thus it was that Dietrich vanquished her in every sense. She had tempted him into this impenetrable thicket in order to betray him like another Delilah, but had been quickly conquered by this despised Suabian. And this was not because she was so utterly love-sick as to lose her bearings but rather because she was in spite of all her fancied wisdom so short of vision as not to see beyond the tip of her own nose. Thus they remained together an hour or more in this delectable solitude, embraced ever anew, kissed one another a thousand times, thus realizing the vision of the Suabian not long before, and swore eternal faith and unending affection, and agreed most solemnly, no matter how the affair of the race should terminate, to marry and become man and wife.

In the meanwhile news of the curious undertaking of the three combmakers had spread throughout the town, and the master himself had not a little aided in this, for the whole matter appealed strongly to his sense of humor. And hence all the people of Seldwyla rejoiced in advance at the prospect of a spectacle so novel and unconventional. They were eager to see the three journeymen arrive out of breath and in complete disarray, and laughed heartily in anticipation of the fun they counted on. Gradually a vast throng had assembled outside the town gate, impatient to see the arrival. On both sides of the highroad the curious people were seated at the edge of the trenches, just as if professional runners were expected. The small boys climbed into the tops of trees, while their elders sat on the grass and smoked their pipe, quite content that such an amusement had been provided for them. Even the dignitaries of Seldwyla had not scorned to put in their appearance, sat in the taverns by the wayside and discoursed of the chances of each of the three, and making a number of not inconsiderable wagers as to the final result. In those streets which the runners had to pass on their way to the goal all the windows had been thrown open, the wives had placed in their parlors on the window ledges pretty vari-colored cushions, to rest their arms upon, and had received numerous visits from the ladies of their acquaintance, so that coffee and cake was hospitably provided for them all, and even the maid servants were in a holiday mood, being sent to bakers and confectioners for goodies of every description with which to entertain the guests.

All of a sudden the little fellows keenly watching from out of their leafy domes dimly saw in the distance tiny dust clouds approaching, and they set up the cry: "Here they're coming! They're coming!" And indeed, not long thereafter were seen Jobst and Fridolin rushing past, each wrapped in his own hazy column of dust, in the middle of the road. With the one hand they were pulling their valises on wheels each by himself, these rattling over the cobblestones with a noise like drumbeats, and with the other they held on tight to their heavy hats, these having slid down their necks, and their long dusters and coats were flying in the breeze. Both of the rivals were covered thickly with dust, almost unrecognizable; they had their mouths wide open and were yapping for breath; they saw and heard nothing that transpired around them, and thick tears were slowly rolling down their faces, there being no time to wipe them away, and these tears had dug paths in criss-cross fashion in the grime on their countenances.

They came close upon each other, but the Bavarian was just about half a horse's length ahead. A terrific shouting and laughter was set up by the audience, and this droned in the ears of the racers as they sped on in insane haste. Everybody got up and crowded along the sidewalk, and there were cries raised: "That's it, that's it! Run, Saxon, defend yourself: don't let the Bavarian have it all his own way! One of the three has already given in--there are but two of them left."

The gentlemen who were standing on the tables and chairs in the gardens and roadhouses laughed fit to split their sides. Their roars sounded across the highway and streets, and woke the echoes, and the affair was turned into a popular festival. Small boys and the entire rabble of the town followed densely in the wake of the two, and this mob stirred up thick volumes of biting dust, so that the racers were almost stifled before they arrived at the near goal. The whole immense cloud rolled towards the town gate, and even women and girls ran along, and mingled their high, squeaking voices with those of the male ruffians. Now they had almost reached the old town gate, the two towers of which were lined with the curious who were waving their caps and hats. The two were still running, foaming at the mouth, eyes starting out of sockets, running like two run-away horses, without sense or mind, their hearts full of fear and torture. Suddenly one of the little street boys knelt down on Jobst's small vehicle, and had Jost pull him along, the crowd howling with appreciation of the joke. Jobst turned and pleaded with the youngster to get off, even struck at him with his staff. But the blows did not reach the urchin, who merely grinned at him. With that Fridolin gained on Jobst, and as Jobst noticed this, he threw his staff between the other's feet, so that Fridolin stumbled and fell. But as Jobst attempted to pass him, the Bavarian pulled him by the tail of his coat, and by the aid of that got again on his feet. Jobst struck him upon his hands like a maniac, and shouted: "Let go! Let go!" But Fridolin did not let go, and so Jobst seized him also by the coat tail, and thus both had hold of each other, and were slowly making their way into the gateway, once in a while attempting to get rid of the other by venturing on a bound. They wept, sobbed and howled like babies, shouted in the agony of their grief and fear: "My God, let go!" "For the love of Heaven, let go!" "Let go, you devil; you must let go!" Between whiles each struck hard blows at the other's hands, but with all that they advanced a little all the time. Their hats and staffs had been lost in the scuffle, and ahead of them and behind them the hooting mob was accompanying them, their escort growing more turbulent and violent each minute. All the windows were occupied by the ladies of Seldwyla, and they threw, so to speak, their silvery laughter into this avalanche of noise, and all were agreed that for years past there had not been such a ludicrous scene as this.

As a matter of fact, this crazy free show was so much to the taste of the whole town that nobody took the trouble to point out to the two rivals their ultimate goal, the house of their old master. They themselves, these two, did not see it. Indeed, they did not see anything more. They reached their goal and did not perceive it, but went past and hurried crazily on, on and on, always escorted by the shouts and yells of the mob, fighting each other, their faces drawn and pinched as though in death, on and on, until they reached the other end of the little town and so through the second gate out into the open once more. The master himself had stood at the window of his house, laughing and greatly amused, and after patiently waiting for another hour for the victor in the strange tournament, he had been on the point of leaving the house and joining some of his cronies at the tavern, when Zues and Dietrich quietly and unobtrusively entered.

For Zues had meanwhile been busy with her thoughts, combining, after her wont, this and that. And thus she had reached the conclusion that in all likelihood the master combmaker would be willing to sell his business outright on a cash basis, since he could not continue it himself much longer. For that purpose Zues herself was ready to give up her interest-bearing mortgage, which together with the slender savings of Dietrich would doubtless suffice and thus they two would remain victors and could laugh at the other two. This plan, together with their intention to marry, they told the astonished master about, and he, readily seeing that thus he could cheat his creditors and by concluding the bargain quickly would also get possession of a considerable sum of money to do with as he pleased, was glad of the opportunity thus afforded him. Quickly, therefore, the two parties were in agreement as to the terms, and before the sun went down Zues became the lawful owner of the business and her promised husband the tenant of the house in which the business was being conducted. Thus it was Zues, without indeed having intended or suspected it in the morning, who was tied down and conquered by the quickwitted Suabian.

Half dead with shame, exhaustion and anger, Jobst and Fridolin meanwhile lay in the inn to which they had been taken when picked up limp and spent in the open field. To separate the two rivals, thirsting for each other's blood and maddened from the whole crazy adventure, had been no light task. The whole of Seldwyla now, having in their peculiar reckless way already forgotten the immediate cause of the whole turmoil, was now celebrating and making a night of it. In many houses there was dancing, and in the taverns there was much drinking and singing and noise, just as on the greatest Seldwyla holidays. For the people of Seldwyla never required much urging to enjoy themselves to the top of their bent. When the two poor devils saw how their own superior cunning with which they had counted on making a good haul had, on the contrary, only served these careless people in all their folly to make a feast of it, how they themselves had been the immediate cause of their own downfall, and had made a laughingstock of themselves for all the world, they thought their hearts would break. For they had managed not only to defeat the wise and patient plans of so many years, but had also lost forever the reputation of being shrewd men themselves.