SCENE V.
Lady in mourning, Major von Tellheim, Just
LADY.
I ask your pardon, sir.
MAJ. T.
Whom do you seek, Madam?
LADY.
The worthy gentleman with whom I have the honour of speaking. You do
not know me again. I am the widow of your late captain.
MAJ. T.
Good heavens, Madam, how you are changed!
LADY.
I have just risen from a sick bed, to which grief on the loss of my
husband brought me. I am troubling you at a very early hour, Major von
Tellheim, but I am going into the country, where a kind, but also
unfortunate friend, has for the present offered me an asylum.
MAJ. T. (to Just).
Leave us.
SCENE VI.
Lady, Major von Tellheim
MAJ. T.
Speak freely, Madam! You must not be ashamed of your bad fortune
before me. Can I serve you in any way?
LADY.
Major!!!!!
MAJ. T.
I pity you, Madam! How can I serve you? You know your husband was my
friend; my friend, I say, and I have always been sparing of this
title.
LADY.
Who knows better than I do how worthy you were of his friendship how
worthy he was of yours? You would have been in his last thoughts, your
name would have been the last sound on his dying lips, had not natural
affection, stronger than friendship, demanded this sad prerogative for
his unfortunate son, and his unhappy wife.
MAJ. T.
Cease, Madam! I could willingly weep with you; but I have no tears
to-day. Spare me! You come to me at a time when I might easily be
misled to murmur against Providence. Oh! honest Marloff! Quick, Madam,
what have you to request? If it is in my power to assist you, if it is
in my power!!!!!
LADY.
I cannot depart without fulfilling his last wishes. He recollected,
shortly before his death, that he was dying a debtor to you, and he
conjured me to discharge his debt with the first ready money I should
have. I have sold his carriage, and come to redeem his note.
MAJ. T.
What, Madam! Is that your object in coming?
LADY.
It is. Permit me to count out the money to you.
MAJ. T.
No, Madam. Marloff a debtor to me! that can hardly be. Let us look,
however.
(Takes out a pocketbook, and searches.)
I find nothing of the kind.
LADY.
You have doubtless mislaid his note; besides, it is nothing to the
purpose. Permit me!!!!!
MAJ. T.
No, Madam; I am careful not to mislay such documents. If I have not
got it, it is a proof that I never had it, or that it has been
honoured and already returned by me.
LADY.
Major!
MAJ. T.
Without doubt, Madam; Marloff does not owe me anything—nor can I
remember that he ever did owe me anything. This is so, Madam. He has
much rather left me in his debt. I have never been able to do anything
to repay a man who shared with me good and ill luck, honour and
danger, for six years. I shall not forget that he has left a son. He
shall be my son, as soon as I can be a father to him. The
embarrassment in which I am at present!!!!!
LADY.
Generous man! But do not think so meanly of me. Take the money, Major,
and then at least I shall be at ease.
MAJ. T.
What more do you require to tranquillize you, than my assurance that
the money does not belong to me? Or do you wish that I should rob the
young orphan of my friend? Rob, Madam; for that it would be in the
true meaning of the word. The money belongs to him; invest it for him.
LADY.
I understand you; pardon me if I do not yet rightly know how to accept
a kindness. Where have you learnt that a mother will do more for her
child than for the preservation of her own life? I am going!!!!!
MAJ. T.
Go, Madam, and may you have a prosperous journey! I do not ask you to
let me hear from you. Your news might come to me when it might be of
little use to me. There is yet one thing, Madam; I had nearly
forgotten that which is of most consequence. Marloff also had claims
upon the chest of our old regiment. His claims are as good as mine. If
my demands are paid, his must be paid also. I will be answerable for
them.
LADY.
Oh! Sir... but what can I say? Thus to purpose future good deeds
is, in the eyes of heaven, to have performed them already. May you
receive its reward, as well as my tears.
(Exit.)
SCENE VII.
Major von Tellheim
MAJ. T.
Poor, good woman! I must not forget to destroy the bill.
(Takes some papers from his pocketbook and destroys them.)
Who would guarantee that my own wants might not some day tempt me to
make use of it?
SCENE VIII.
Just, Major von Tellheim
MAJ. T.
Is that you, Just?
JUST. (wiping his eyes).
Yes.
MAJ. T.
You have been crying?
JUST.
I have been writing out my account in the kitchen, and the place is
full of smoke. Here it is, sir.
MAJ. T.
Give it to me.
JUST.
Be merciful with me, sir. I know well that they have not been so with
you; still!!!!!
MAJ. T.
What do you want?
JUST.
I should sooner have expected my death, than my discharge.
MAJ. T.
I cannot keep you any longer: I must learn to manage without servants.
(Opens the paper, and reads.)
"What my master, the Major, owes me:—Three months and a half wages,
six thalers per month, is 21 thalers. During the first part of this
month, laid out in sundries—1 thaler 7 groschen 9 pfennigs. Total, 22
thalers 7gr. 9pf." Right; and it is just that I also pay your wages,
for the whole of the current month.
JUST.
Turn over, sir.
MAJ. T.
Oh! more?
(Reads.)
"What I owe my master, the Major:—Paid for me to the army-surgeon
twenty-five thalers. Attendance and nurse during my cure, paid for me,
thirty-nine thalers. Advanced, at my request, to my father—who was
burnt out of his house and robbed—without reckoning the two horses of
which he made him a present, fifty thalers. Total 114 thalers. Deduct
the above 22 thalers, 7gr. 9pf.; I remain in debt to my master, the
Major, 91 thalers, 16gr. 3pf." You are mad, my good fellow!
JUST.
I willingly grant that I owe you much more; but it would be wasting
ink to write it down. I cannot pay you that: and if you take my livery
from me too, which, by the way, I have not yet earned,—I would rather
you had let me die in the workhouse.
MAJ. T.
For what do you take me? You owe me nothing; and I will recommend you
to one of my friends, with whom you will fare better than with me.
JUST.
I do not owe you anything, and yet you turn me away!
MAJ. T.
Because I do not wish to owe you anything.
JUST.
On that account? Only on that account? As certain as I am in your
debt, as certain as you can never be in mine, so certainly shall you
not turn me away now. Do what you will, Major, I remain in your
service; I must remain.
MAJ. T.
With your obstinacy, your insolence, your savage boisterous temper
towards all who you think have no business to speak to you, your
malicious pranks, your love of revenge,!!!!!
JUST.
Make me as bad as you will, I shall not think worse of myself than of
my dog. Last winter I was walking one evening at dusk along the river,
when I heard something whine. I stooped down, and reached in the
direction whence the sound came, and when I thought I was saving a
child, I pulled a dog out of the water. That is well, thought I. The
dog followed me; but I am not fond of dogs, so I drove him away—in
vain. I whipped him away—in vain. I shut him out of my room at night;
he lay down before the door. If he came too near me, I kicked him; he
yelped, looked up at me, and wagged his tail. I have never yet given
him a bit of bread with my own hand; and yet I am the only person whom
he will obey, or who dare touch him. He jumps about me, and shows off
his tricks to me, without my asking for them. He is an ugly dog, but
he is a good animal. If he carries it on much longer, I shall at last
give over hating him.
MAJ. T. (aside).
As I do him. No, there is no one perfectly inhuman. Just, we will not
part.
JUST.
Certainly not! And you wanted to manage without servants! You forget
your wounds, and that you only have the use of one arm. Why, you are
not able to dress alone. I am indispensable to you; and I am—without
boasting, Major,—I am a servant who, if the worst comes to the worst,
can beg and steal for his master.
MAJ. T.
Just, we will part.
JUST.
All right, Sir!
SCENE IX.
Servant, Major von Tellheim, Just
SER.
I say, comrade!
JUST.
What is the matter?
SER.
Can you direct me to the officer who lodged yesterday in that room?
(Pointing to the one out of which he is coming).
JUST.
That I could easily do. What have you got for him?
SER.
What we always have, when we have nothing—compliments. My mistress
hears that he has been turned out on her account. My mistress knows
good manners, and I am therefore to beg his pardon.
JUST.
Well then, beg his pardon; there he stands.
SER.
What is he? What is his name?
MAJ. T.
I have already heard your message, my friend. It is unnecessary
politeness on the part of your mistress, which I beg to acknowledge
duly. Present my compliments to her. What is the name of your
mistress?
SER.
Her name! We call her my Lady.
MAJ. T.
The name of her family?
SER.
I have not heard that yet, and it is not my business to ask. I manage
so that I generally get a new master every six weeks. Hang all their
names!
JUST.
Bravo, comrade!
SER.
I was engaged by my present mistress a few days ago, in Dresden. I
believe she has come here to look for her lover.
MAJ. T.
Enough, friend. I wished to know the name of your mistress, not her
secrets. Go!
SER.
Comrade, he would not do for my master.
SCENE X.
Major von Tellheim, Just
MAJ. T.
Just! see that we get out of this house directly! The politeness of
this strange lady affects me more than the churlishness of the host.
Here, take this ring—the only thing of value which I have left—of
which I never thought such a use. Pawn it! get eighty louis d'ors for
it: our host's bill can scarcely amount to thirty. Pay him, and remove
my things.... Ah, where? Where you will. The cheaper the inn, the
better. You will find me in the neighbouring coffee-house. I am going;
you will see to it all properly?
JUST.
Have no fear, Major!
MAJ. T. (comes back).
Above all things, do not let my pistols be forgotten, which hang
beside the bed.
JUST.
I will forget nothing.
MAJ. T. (comes back again).
Another thing: bring your dog with you too. Do you hear, Just?
SCENE XI.
Just
JUST.
The dog will not stay behind, he will take care of that. Hem! My
master still had this valuable ring and carried it in his pocket
instead of on his finger! My good landlord, we are not yet so poor as
we look. To him himself, I will pawn you, you beautiful little ring! I
know he will be annoyed that you will not all be consumed in his
house. Ah!
SCENE XII.
Paul Werner, Just
JUST.
Hullo, Werner! good-day to you, Werner. Welcome to the town.
WER.
The accursed village! I can't manage to get at home in it again.
Merry, my boys, merry; I have got some more money! Where is the Major?
JUST.
He must have met you; he just went down stairs.
WER.
I came up the back stairs. How is he? I should have been with you last
week, but!!!!!
JUST.
Well, what prevented you?
WER.
Just, did you ever hear of Prince Heraclius?
JUST.
Heraclius? Not that I know of.
WER.
Don't you know the great hero of the East?
JUST.
I know the wise men of the East well enough, who go about with the
stars on New Year's Eve.
WER.
Brother, I believe you read the newspapers as little as the Bible. You
do not know Prince Heraclius. Not know the brave man who seized
Persia, and will break into the Ottoman Porte in a few days? Thank
God, there is still war somewhere in the world! I have long enough
hoped it would break out here again. But there they sit and take care
of their skins. No, a soldier I was, and a soldier I must be again! In
short, (looking round carefully, to see if anyone is listening)
between ourselves, Just, I am going to Persia, to have a few campaigns
against the Turks, under his Royal Highness Prince Heraclius.
JUST.
You?
WER.
I myself. Our ancestors fought bravely against the Turks; and so ought
we too, if we would be honest men and good Christians. I allow that a
campaign against the Turks cannot be half so pleasant as one against
the French; but then it must be so much the more beneficial in this
world and the next. The swords of the Turks are all set with diamonds.
JUST.
I would not walk a mile to have my head split with one of their
sabres. You will not be so mad as to leave your comfortable little
farm!
WER.
Oh! I take that with me. Do you see? The property is sold.
JUST.
Sold?
WER.
Hist! Here are a hundred ducats, which I received yesterday towards
the payment: I am bringing them for the Major.
JUST.
What is he to do with them?
WER.
What is he to do with them? Spend them; play them, or drink them away,
or whatever he pleases. He must have money, and it is bad enough that
they have made his own so troublesome to him. But I know what I would
do, were I in his place. I would say—"The deuce take you all here; I
will go with Paul Werner to Persia!" Hang it! Prince Heraclius must
have heard of Major von Tellheim, if he has not heard of Paul Werner,
his late sergeant. Our affair at Katzenhauser!!!!!
JUST.
Shall I give you an account of that?
WER.
You give me! I know well that a fine battle array is beyond your
comprehension. I am not going to throw my pearls before swine. Here,
take the hundred ducats; give them to the Major: tell him, he may keep
these for me too. I am going to the market now. I have sent in a
couple of loads of rye; what I get for them he can also have.
JUST.
Werner, you mean it well; but we don't want your money. Keep your
ducats; and your hundred pistoles you can also have back safe, as soon
as you please.
WER.
What, has the Major money still?
JUST.
No.
WER.
Has he borrowed any?
JUST.
No.
WER.
On what does he live, then?
JUST.
We have everything put down in the bill; and when they won't put
anything more down, and turn us out of the house, we pledge anything
we may happen to have, and go somewhere else. I say, Paul, we must
play this landlord here a trick.
WER.
If he has annoyed the Major, I am ready.
JUST.
What if we watch for him in the evening, when he comes from his club,
and give him a good thrashing?
WER.
In the dark! Watch for him! Two to one! No, that won't do.
JUST.
Or if we burn his house over his head?
WER.
Fire and burn! Why, Just, one hears that you have been baggage-boy and
not soldier. Shame!
JUST.
Or if we ruin his daughter? But she is cursedly ugly.
WER.
She has probably been ruined long ago. At any rate you don't want any
help there. But what is the matter with you? What has happened?
JUST.
Just come with me, and you shall hear something to make you stare.
WER.
The devil must be loose here, then?
JUST.
Just so; come along.
WER.
So much the better! To Persia, then; to Persia.