Something in her low-spoken words caught and held the attention of the soul in mortal anguish. Gila fixed her great, anguishing eyes on Bonnie.
"Forgive! Forgive! How could anybody forgive all I've done! You don't know anything about such things"—half contemptuously.—"You've always been goody-good! I can see it in your look. You don't know what it is to have men making fools of themselves over you! You don't know all I've done! I've been what they call a sinner! I sent away the only man I ever loved because I was jealous of God! I broke the heart of the man who loved me because I got tired of him and his everlasting perfection! I hated the idea of being a mother, and when my child came I deserted her! I would have killed her if I had dared! I went away with a bad man! And when I got tired of him I took the first way that opened to get away from him! God doesn't forgive things like that! I didn't expect He would when I did them. But it wasn't fair not to let me live out my life! I'm too young to die! And I'm afraid! I'm afraid!"
"Yes. God forgives all those things! There was a woman once who had been like that, and Jesus forgave her. He will forgive you if you ask Him. But He can't forgive you unless you are sorry and really want Him to. He says, 'Though your sins be as scarlet they shall be as white as snow; and though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool,' but you have to be sorry first that you sinned. He can't forgive you if you aren't sorry."
"Sorry! Sorry!" Gila's laugh rang out mirthlessly and echoed in the high, white room. "Oh, I'm sorry, all right! What do you think I am? Do you think I've been happy? Don't you know that I've suffered torments? Everything has turned to ashes that I've touched! I've gone everywhere and done everything to try to forget myself, but always there was that awful Presence chasing me! Standing in my way everywhere I turned! Driving me! Always driving me toward hell! I've tried drowning my thoughts with cocktails and dope, but always when it wore off there would be the Presence of God pursuing me! Do you mean to tell me there is forgiveness for me with Him?"
Her breath was coming in painful gasps as she screamed out the words as the nurse leaned over and gave her a quieting draught.
Bonnie, in a low, clear voice, began to repeat Bible verses:
"The blood of Jesus Christ His Son cleanseth us from all sin!
"As far as the East is from the West, so far hath He removed our transgressions from us.
"I, even I, am he that blotteth out thy transgressions for mine own sake, and will not remember thy sins.
"If we confess our sins He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."