Ernest read it over most seriously and solemnly—it was only a social leader, of the ordinary commonplace talky-talky sort; but to those two poor young people it was a very serious and solemn matter indeed—no less a matter than their own two lives and little Dot’s into the bargain. It began with the particular case of the particular organ-boy who formed the peg on which the whole article was to be hung; it went on to discourse on the lives and manners of organ-boys in general; it digressed into the natural history of the common guinea-pig, with an excursus on the scenery of the Lower Apennines; and it finished off with sundry abstract observations on the musical aspect of the barrel-organ and the aesthetic value of hurdygurdy performances. Edie listened to it all with deep attention.
‘It’s very good, Ernest dear,’ she said, with wifely admiration, as soon as he had finished. ‘Just like a real leader exactly; only, do you know, there aren’t any anecdotes in it. I think a social leader of that sort ought always to have a lot of anecdotes. Couldn’t you manage to bring in something about Fox and Sheridan, or about George IV. and Beau Brummel? They always do, you know, in most of the papers.’
Ernest gazed at her in silent admiration. ‘How clever of you, Edie,’ he said, ‘to think of that! Why, of course there ought to be some anecdotes. They’re the very breath of life to this sort of meaningless writing. Only, somehow, George IV. and Beau Brummel don’t seem exactly relevant to Italian organ-grinders, now do they?’
‘I thought,’ said Edie, with hardly a touch of unintentional satire, ‘that the best thing about anecdotes of that kind in a newspaper was their utter irrelevancy. But if Beau Brummel won’t do, couldn’t you manage to work in Guicciardini and the galleys? That’s strictly Italian, you know, and therefore relevant; and I’m sure the newspaper leaders are extremely fond of that story about Guiccardini.’
‘They are,’ Ernest answered,'most undoubtedly; but perhaps for that very reason readers may be beginning to get just a little tired of it by this time.’
‘I don’t think the readers matter much,’ said Edie, with a brilliant, flash of practical common-sense; ‘at least, not nearly half as much, Ernest, as the editor.’
‘Quite true,’ Ernest replied, with another admiring look; ‘but probably the editor more or less consults the taste and feelings of the readers. Well, I’ll try to expand it a bit, and I’ll manage to drag in an anecdote or two somehow—if not Guicciardini, at least something or other else Italian. You see Italy’s a tolerably rich subject, because you can do any amount about Raffael, and Michael Angelo, and Leonardo, and so forth, not to mention Botticelli. The papers have made a dreadful run lately on Botticelli.’
So Ernest sat down once more at the table by the window, and began to interlard the manuscript with such allusions to Italy and the Italians as could suggest themselves on the spur of the moment to his anxious imagination. At the end of half an hour—about the time a practised hand would have occupied in writing the whole article—he counted words once more, and found there were still two hundred wanting. Two hundred more words to say about Italian organ-boys! Alas for the untrained human fancy! A master leader writer at the office of the ‘Morning Intelligence’ could have run on for ever on so fertile and suggestive a theme—a theme pregnant with unlimited openings for all the cheap commonplaces of abstract journalistic philanthropy; but poor Ernest, a ‘prentice hand at the trade, had yet to learn the fluent trick of the accomplished news purveyor; he absolutely could not write without thinking about it. A third time he was obliged to recommit his manuscript, and a third time to count the words over. This time, oh joy, the reckoning came out as close as possible to the even fifteen hundred. Ernest gave a sigh of relief, and turned to read it all over again, as finally enlarged and amended, to the critical ears of admiring Edie.
There was anecdote enough now, in all conscience, in the article; and allusions enough to stock a whole week’s numbers of the ‘Morning Intelligence.’ Edie listened to the whole tirade with an air of the most severe and impartial criticism. When Ernest had finished, she rose up and kissed him. ‘I’m sure it’ll do, Ernest,’ she said confidently. ‘It’s exactly like a real leader. It’s quite beautiful—a great deal more beautiful, in fact, than anything else I ever read in a newspaper: it’s good enough to print in a volume.’
‘I hope the editor’ll think so,’ Ernest answered, dubiously. ‘If not, what a lot of valuable tenpenny foolscap wasted all for nothing! Now I must write it all out again clean, Edie, on fresh pieces.’