‘What! Mr. Blenkinsopp! Yes, it is really. My dear sir, how DO you do? This is a most unexpected pleasure. We hadn’t the least idea you were in Pilbury. When did you come here?’
‘I came last night, Dr. Greatrex,’ answered the dreaded parent respectfully: ‘we’ve come down from Staffordshire for a week at the seaside, and we thought we might as well be within hail of Guy and Charlie.’
‘Quite right, quite right, my dear sir,’ said the doctor, mentally noting that Blenkinsopp minor was familiarly known as Guy, not Cyril; ‘we’re delighted to see you. And now you want to know all about our two young friends, don’t you?’
‘Well, yes, Dr. Greatrex; I SHOULD like to know how they are getting on.’
‘Ah, of course, of course. Very right. It’s such a pleasure to us when parents give us their active and hearty co-operation! You’d hardly believe, Mr. Blenkinsopp, how little interest some parents seem to feel in their boys’ progress. To us, you know, who devote our whole time and energy assiduously to their ultimate welfare, it’s sometimes quite discouraging to see how very little the parents themselves seem to care about it. But your boys are both doing capitally. The eldest—Blenkinsopp major, we call him; Charles Warrington, isn’t it? (His home name’s Charlie, if I recollect right. Ah, quite so.) Well, Charlie’s the very picture of perfect health, as usual.’ (‘Health is his only strong point, it seems to me,’ the doctor thought to himself instinctively. ‘We must put that first and foremost.’) ‘In excellent health and very good spirits. He’s in the second eleven now, and a capital batter: I’ve no doubt he’ll go into the first eleven next term, if we lose Biddlecomb Tertius to the university. In work, as you know, he’s not very great; doesn’t do his abilities full justice, Mr. Blenkinsopp, through his dreadful inattention. He’s generally near the bottom of the form, I’m sorry to say; generally near the bottom of the form.’
‘Well, I dare say there’s no harm in that, sir,’ said Mr. Blenkinsopp, senior, warmly. ‘I was always at the bottom of the form at school myself, Doctor, but I’ve picked it up in after life; I’ve picked it up, sir, as you see, and I’m fully equal with most other people nowadays, as you’ll find if you inquire of any town councilman or man of position down our way, at Brosely.’
‘Ah, I dare say you were, Mr. Blenkinsopp,’ the doctor answered blandly, with just the faintest tinge of unconscious satire, peering at his square unintelligent features as a fancier peers at the face of a bull-dog; ‘I dare say you were now. After all, however clever a set of boys may be, one of them MUST be at the bottom of the form, in the nature of things, mustn’t he? And your Charlie, I think, is only fifteen. Ah, yes; well, well; he’ll do better, no doubt, if we keep him here a year or two longer. So then there’s the second: Guy, you call him, if I remember right—Cyril Anastasius Guy—our Blenkinsopp minor. Guy’s a good boy; an excellent boy: to tell you the plain truth, Mr. Blenkinsopp, I don’t know much of him personally myself, which is a fact that tells greatly in his favour. Charlie I must admit I have to call up some times for reproof: Guy, never. Charlie’s in the fifth form: Guy’s seventh in the fourth. A capital place for a boy of his age! He’s very industrious, you know—what we call a plodder. They call it a plodder, you see, at thirteen, Mr. Blenkinsopp, but a man of ability at forty.’ Dr. Greatrex delivered that last effective shot point-blank at the eyes of the inquiring parent, and felt in a moment that its delicate generalised flattery had gone home straight to the parent’s susceptible heart.
‘But there’s one thing, Doctor,’ Mr. Blenkinsopp began, after a few minutes’ further conversation on the merits and failings of Guy and Charlie, ‘there’s one other thing I feel I should like to speak to you about, and that’s the teaching of your fifth form master, Mr. Le Breton. From what Charlie tells me, I don’t quite like that young man’s political ideas and opinions. It’s said things to his form sometimes that are quite horrifying, I assure you; things about Property, and about our duty to the poor, and so on, that are positively enough to appal you. Now, for example, he told them—I don’t quite like to repeat it, for it’s sheer blasphemy I call it—but he told them in a Greek Testament lesson that the Apostles themselves were a sort of Republicans—Socialists, I think Charlie said, or else Chartists, or dynamiters. I’m not sure he didn’t say St. Peter himself was a regular communist!’
Dr. Greatrex drew a long breath. ‘I should think, Mr. Blenkinsopp,’ he suggested blandly, ‘Charlie must really have misunderstood Mr. Le Breton. You see, they’ve been reading the Acts of the Apostles in their Greek Testament this term. Now, of course, you remember that, during the first days of the infant Church, while its necessities were yet so great, as many as were possessors of lands or houses sold them, and brought the prices of the things that were sold, and laid them down at the apostles’ feet; and distribution was made unto every man according as he had need. You see, here’s the passage, Mr. Blenkinsopp, in the authorised version. I won’t trouble you with the original. You’ve forgotten most of your Greek, I dare say: ah, I thought go. It doesn’t stick to us like the Latin, does it? Now, perhaps, in expounding that passage, Mr. Le Breton may have referred in passing—as an illustration merely—to the unhappily prevalent modern doctrines of socialism and communism. He may have warned his boys, for example, against confounding a Christian communism like this, if I may so style it, with the rapacious, aggressive, immoral forms of communism now proposed to us, which are based upon the forcible disregard of all Property and all vested interests of every sort. I don’t say he did, you know, for I haven’t conferred with him upon the subject: but he may have done so; and he may even have used, as I have used, the phrase “Christian communism,” to define the temporary attitude of the apostles and the early Church in this matter. That, perhaps, my dear sir, may be the origin of the misapprehension.’
Mr. Blenkinsopp looked hard at the three verses in the big Bible the doctor had handed him, with a somewhat suspicious glare. He was a self-made man, with land and houses of his own in plenty, and he didn’t quite like this suggestive talk about selling them and laying the prices at the apostles’ feet. It savoured to him both of communism and priestcraft. ‘That’s an awkward text, you know,’ he said, looking up curiously from the Bible in his hand into the doctor’s face, ‘a very awkward text; and I should say it was rather a dangerous one to set too fully before young people. It seems to me to make too little altogether of Property. You know, Dr. Greatrex, at first sight it DOES look just a little like communism.’