And I answered aloud, in a hollow voice:
“To the police-station, of course,—to give myself into custody for the murder of my father.”
When I thought it was Jack, though I loved him better than I loved my own life, I would have given him up to justice as a sacred duty. Now I knew it was myself, how could I possibly do otherwise? How could I love my own life better than I loved dear Jack’s, who had given up everything to save me and protect me?
With a wild bound of horror, Jack sprang upon me at once. He seized me bodily in his arms. He carried me back into the room with irresistible strength. I fought against him in vain. He laid me on the sofa. He bent over me like a whirlwind and smothered me with hot kisses.
“My darling,” he cried, “my darling, then this shock hasn’t killed you! It hasn’t stunned you like the last! You’re still your own dear self! You’ve still strength to think and plan exactly what one would expect from you. Oh! Una, my Una, you must wait and hear all. When you’ve learned HOW it happened, you won’t wish to act so rashly.”
I struggled to free myself, though his arms were hard and close like a strong man’s around me.
“Let me go, Jack!” I cried feebly, trying to tear myself from his grasp. “I love you better than I love my own life. If I would have given YOU up, how much more must I give up myself, now I know it was I who really did it!”
He held me down by main force. He pinned me to the sofa. I suppose it’s because I’m a woman, and weak, and all that—but I liked even then to feel how strong and how big he was, and how feeble I was myself, like a child in his arms. And I resisted on purpose, just to feel him hold me. Somehow, I couldn’t realize, after all, that I was indeed a murderess. It didn’t seem possible. I couldn’t believe it was in me.
“Jack,” I said slowly, giving way at last, and letting him hold me down with his small strong hands and slender iron wrist, “tell me, if you will, how I came to do it. I’ll sit here quite still, if only you’ll tell me. Am I really a murderess?”
Jack recoiled like one shot.