“Once there was a poor man and a young woman. She was not rich, neither, but they two were fond of each other, and gave each other promise. They would wait till they could buy a little farm; it might take years, but they would wait. You know the hills over yonder they call the Dark Mountains. Well, the young man, he went up there to serve with a farmer who offered him good wages. And the girl, she stayed behind, and never saw him all that summer. But she had her ring to look at, and hope. In the autumn, he came down over the mountains to see her. And there came a snowstorm on the way, and he was frozen to death in the mountains....”
Old Kata’s voice had changed; its tone brought tears to Alma’s eyes, and though the speaker herself shed never a tear, it was a little time before she could go on.
“Yes. ’Twas a hard blow to my faith at the time, and I was all doubt in my heart. But later on that same year I learned the truth. He was going to marry the daughter of the farmer he’d been working with, and only came down to ask me to give back the ring and give me mine again. And then I said ‘God’s will be done.’ ’Twas providence clear enough. ’Tis not for us mortals to fathom the ways of God, and there’s much that seems mysterious, ay, and hard and unjust. But God is God. And we’re but weak things in His hand, without understanding. But for all that we can make our hearts a shining light, and show the way to wanderers that’s lost the way.”
When Alma knew she was to give birth to a child, she gave way entirely, and pent-up tears burst forth.
“Oh, how could it, how could it ever come like this?” she moaned.
She was to bring forth a child that should carry the nature of its father or its mother—to what degree she could not say. And the prospect of a child she felt she could not love filled her with horror, the curse of a joyless motherhood. If only God in His mercy had made her barren; had spared her the anguish of bringing another life into this world of suffering and misery.
She wept herself by degrees into a calmer state, and a sense of pity and self-reproach grew up in her—pity for the new little being to come, and self-reproach that she herself was so weak.
Surely it was sinful to look forward without thankfulness to motherhood, a sin against the child unborn.
And yet—how could she ever be glad?