“It is madness. How could I ever bring peace to any soul, when I start my pilgrimage by robbing her who trusted me of her heart’s peace?”
An evil light showed in his eyes.
“I wonder ... would she really suffer so very much after all?...”
He clenched his fists.
“Oh, I deserve to be whipped! And, in any case, I am not worthy of her love. It seems I am growing into a rogue. I dare not look her in the face now. Her eyes—so pure ... and her soul, clean and free from any evil thought. And she—she trusts me—trusts me ... it is horrible!”
He drew a deep breath.
“I might go to her, and tell her everything. She would understand. But—her heart would feel but one thing of it all—that we must part. And that is all that my heart can feel now.”
He sighed, but in a moment his face hardened again.
“This is temptation. And I was nearly giving way. Nearly gave in at the first onset. I am too weak. The first thing to do is to take some decisive step, to cut off all retreat. But how?”
A thought came suddenly to his mind, and he shuddered.