"My dear old fellow," he said, laying his hand on my arm, "we have been friends many years. In point of fact I don't know of a man whose good wishes I should so thoroughly appreciate. By Jove, old fellow, I am the happiest being in the world! So happy, in fact, that I'm dashed if I know whether I am standing on my head or my heels!"
"Let me reassure you then," I said dryly. "You are standing on your heels at the present moment."
"Confound your silly jokes," he said angrily. "Any one but a Cabinet Minister would have seen that I was speaking metaphorically. Now I want to tell you that——"
"If you are going to be confidential," I replied, "let us adjourn to the smoking-room. I shall give you much better attention over a cigar, and you will doubtless prove more eloquent."
We accordingly adjourned to the room in question, where I produced a box of cigars, furnished the Duke with a light, and then, when we had seated ourselves, bade him commence his tale. I have often noticed that when a man who is anxious to be communicative is invited to begin his confidences, he finds that his stream of loquacity has dried up. It was so in Rotherhithe's case. He hummed and hawed, gazed very steadily at the ceiling for some seconds, and finally rose from his chair and began to pace the room.
"You may remember," he began in the tone of a man addressing a public meeting, "that you and several other of my friends have continually endeavoured to impress upon me that it is my bounden duty, not only to myself, but to the name I bear, to marry and settle down. You can't grumble, therefore, if I take you at your word."
"You couldn't do better," I said reflectively, examining the ash of my cigar as I spoke. "There is only one objection to the scheme so far as I can see."
"Objection?" he cried, firing up as usual. "What sort of objection can there be to such a thing?"
"It is just possible you may marry the wrong girl," I said quietly. "You must admit that that would be a very decided one."
"I am not likely to be such an idiot," he returned. "What is more, I am not about to marry a girl."