“'About midnight, a messenger brought me a note from my lover. I still know its contents by heart:
“'Has your son returned? I did not find him. I am down here. I do not want to go up at this hour.”
“'I wrote in pencil on the same slip of paper:
“'Jean has not returned. You must find him.”
“'And I remained all night in the armchair, waiting for him.
“'I felt as if I were going mad. I longed to run wildly about, to roll on the ground. And yet I did not even stir, but kept waiting hour after hour. What was going to happen? I tried to imagine, to guess. But I could form no conception, in spite of my efforts, in spite of the tortures of my soul!
“'And now I feared that they might meet. What would they do in that case? What would my son do? My mind was torn with fearful doubts, with terrible suppositions.
“'You can understand my feelings, can you not, monsieur? “'My chambermaid, who knew nothing, who understood nothing, came into the room every moment, believing, naturally, that I had lost my reason. I sent her away with a word or a movement of the hand. She went for the doctor, who found me in the throes of a nervous attack.
“'I was put to bed. I had brain fever.
“'When I regained consciousness, after a long illness, I saw beside my bed my—lover—alone.