"Sit down, Beryl. There, that's better."'
A deep silence now reigned in the room. Martin's gaze wandered out through the window, but the nurse saw nothing. Neither did she hear anything, except the wild beating of her own heart. She longed to do something to comfort the visibly distressed man nearby. But she felt powerless, and no words could she utter.
"Why must I suffer like this, Beryl?" burst at last from Martin's lips. "There, there!" he cried, lifting a thin warning hand. "Don't speak until I am through. I know why I suffer. It's just, and what else could I expect. But, my God! is there to be no end? Is this suffering of mind—this hell, never to cease? Why did they not let me die out there in the snow?"
"Hush, hush! Martin," and Beryl rose to her feet, and laid her hand lightly upon his shoulder. "Don't talk that way! I can't stand it!"
"I must talk. Don't try to stop me. Did you see them going over the river?" he asked. "How happy they are. I am nothing to Nance now. Dick is everything, and I am only in the way. What have I to live for?"
These words caused Beryl to straighten up suddenly. The trembling emotion which had possessed her departed, leaving her very white and calm. Then it was Nance he alone cared for, she told herself. Of her only he thought. Yes, she knew now, and why had she expected anything else?
"Beryl," Martin continued, after a pause, "do you see how happy they are? They are everything to each other. We, too, might have been as happy—but—but for my——How can you look at me, or speak to me, Beryl? You know what I did, and what an outcast I am to-day from God and the Church. Is there any one in the whole world so vile as I?"
"But you have atoned for the past," Beryl soothed. "Think of what you have done."
"Done! Done! Good Lord! what have I done that can ever merit forgiveness from an avenging God? Is there any pardon for one who disgraced his sacred office, broke his parents' hearts, and denounced his Church? Men may talk lightly of sin. But they know not what they are saying, nor its terrible consequences. Nothing can wipe out such a stain as mine, which is so great. There is murder on my hands!"
"The blood of Jesus Christ cleanseth us from all sin," Beryl gently quoted, with tears now streaming down her cheeks. "Don't you, oh, don't you believe it?"