Handicaps of Childhood

by H. Addington Bruce

"As soon as possible, I made my excuses and went home. It seemed to me that my face betrayed my secret. Afterwards I could not speak to or even think of that man without blushing. Now that you have made me recall the circumstance, I feel sure that out of that terrible experience has gradually been developed the habit of bashfulness and blushing which has made life almost unbearable to me."

Contrast with this a third case: the case of a young Jew, robust and alert-looking, a wagon driver by occupation, who applied to the Vanderbilt Clinic in New York City to be treated for what he vaguely termed a "nervous trouble." Referred to Doctor A. A. Brill, already mentioned as a specialist in nervous disorders, he confessed that the malady for which he sought relief was nothing more or less than bashfulness.

"It may seem strange to you," said he, "that a fellow like me should be bashful, but I am so timid when with strangers that I scarcely know what I am doing. I speak and act like a fool; my hands tremble; I trip over things."

"Can you give any reason why you should feel so awkward and embarrassed?"

"Not the slightest. I often have tried to explain it to myself, but all to no purpose. As far as I can tell, it is without a cause."

"Still, it must have a cause, and we will do our best to discover what that is."

Step by step, in the course of several days' investigation by psychoanalysis, Doctor Brill led the patient through the details of his past life. In this way it was definitely ascertained that the bashfulness of which he complained dated from his twelfth year. Delving among the forgotten memories of that early period, Doctor Brill presently unearthed one which the patient, the moment he recalled it, recognised as being coincidental with the beginning of the excessive timidity that had brought him such suffering.

It was the memory of a boyhood escapade that had at the time caused unusual remorse, shame, and fear of discovery. He had fancied that others could read in his eyes what he had done; he became afraid to look at people or to have them look at him. Awkwardness, embarrassment, bashfulness grew apace, and remained characteristic of him even after he had forgotten all about the affair from which they sprang.

Thanks, however, to the recovery of this lost memory-image, and of other subconscious reminiscences which had intensified the feeling of shame, it was now possible for Doctor Brill to institute psychotherapeutic treatment that eventually resulted in a cure. Incidentally, it also resulted in materially improving the young man's position in life. Freed from his bashfulness, he developed unexpected ambition, and eventually became the owner of a well-paying business.