It means the regulation of the whole family life with the special purpose of creating for the child a ceaseless flow of suggestions which, being subconsciously absorbed by him, will give a desirable “set” to his mind. Not merely in their dealings with the child but in their intercourse with one another, with all other members of the family, even with casual visitors, the father and mother will have to be constantly on the alert to manifest only those traits which they desire to see dominant in their little one. If they wish him to be courteous, they themselves must be courteous; if they wish him to grow up industrious, they must be models of enthusiastic industry; if they wish to develop in him sentiments of unselfishness, they must banish selfishness from their hearts.
In a word, they must think and behave as they desire him to think and behave, and, so far as is humanly possible, they must thus behave all the time. This of course necessitates considerable self-restraint and self-training on the parents’ part; but it is absolutely indispensable. The child’s eyes and ears are always wide open; his suggestibility is such that he is prone to absorb and react to any inconsistency of parental speech or behaviour, no matter how occasional or seemingly insignificant it may be. If the father, in a moment of irritation, eases his feelings by a vigorous expletive, the mother may be horrified next day when her little boy utters a strange-sounding word. If the mother, to avoid a tiresome caller, tells a “white lie” through the maid-servant who answers the caller’s ring, neither father nor mother need be astonished if their little girl unexpectedly displays a tendency to untruthfulness; it is not a manifestation of “innate depravity,” it is only another illustration of the power of suggestion to affect the growing child.
Even such a “small matter” as the discussion of the news of the day may become a potent factor for evil in the development of the child. There are not a few parents who, entirely unmindful of their children’s presence, retail to each other the petty chit-chat, the scandals, the deeds of violence and crime, which so many of our newspapers injudiciously “feature.” At the time the child may seem to be paying no heed to the parental discussion; but, if only because it is a discussion between his parents, it is certain to make a profound impression upon him, perhaps to the extent of prompting him to imitate the deeds in question. Hence, in his games, he plays pirate, bandit, train-robber; and sometimes runs away from home and “starts West,” to play bandit and train-robber in earnest. In this way, to the sorrowing parents’ amazement, seeds often are unwittingly sown to grow into poisonous plants.
No less mischievous is the discussion, in the child’s hearing, of such frequent subjects of conversation as the latest musical comedy or “problem play,” the “novel of the hour,” the fluctuations of the stock market, the new fashions in gowns, the fortunes of the local professional baseball team. Parents whose interests are thus lamentably limited, or who choose to talk about little else, need not be surprised if their child manifests a colossal indifference to things really worth while. For his sake, if not for their own, they should cultivate an intelligent interest in good books, good music, good art. Discussing these, they will just as surely enlarge his mental and moral horizon, as by discussing inferior themes they will limit it.
And—another point of prime importance—whatever they talk about, they should make it a practice to use only clear, correct language, and should insist on their child doing the same. Above all, they should not converse with him in “baby talk,” or permit any linguistic errors he may make to go uncorrected. They should not do this for several reasons, chief among which is the fact that an incorrect diction is itself a great obstacle to correct thinking.
“Language,” as one able student of human development, Doctor A. A. Berle, has recently pointed out in his valuable book for parents, “The School in the Home,” “is the tool of knowledge. It is the instrument by which we gain and garner information, by which we co-ordinate what we know and make inferences and express results. But if you blunt the tool, not to say destroy it, before you begin to use it, how are you ever to get knowledge in any proper or real sense? Everything depends upon this tool. The mastery of a proper use of the mother tongue is the first and last requisite of sound and extensive mental development. Language is the key to everything that pertains to human life. Once get a language and you have the key to manners, civilisation, habits, customs, history, and all the complex and fascinating story of humanity. Because you get all these things by reading about them, and to read you must know the language and you must know it accurately and extensively, and be able to follow the masters of it who have embodied their great ideas in literature. That process begins almost at the cradle. It begins by cultivating accuracy and skill in the use of the tongue. It begins by striking at, and out, every false thing, the moment it appears.”
And, commenting on the special dangers of “baby talk,” Doctor Berle justly observes:
“It is not enough that a word be spoken. It makes a great deal of difference how it is spoken. The proper vocalisation of words has an effect upon children, which is often, one may say generally, overlooked. Almost everybody is fond of repeating the baby’s efforts to talk, and ‘baby talk’ lingers in many homes an innocent but costly pleasure, for the parents and the children alike. There are many persons of mature age at this moment who will never pronounce certain words properly, since they became accustomed to a false pronunciation in childhood, because somebody thought it was ‘cute.’ There are many persons who will never get over certain false associations of ideas, because somebody thought it was very amusing and funny to see the child mixing up things in such a beautifully childlike way.”
Putting into practice this first principle of education through the suggestive power of a parental example characterised by correctness of speech, soundness of thought, and the moral qualities of cheerfulness, unselfishness, kindness, politeness, industriousness, and the other virtues, the greatest care must also be taken to “fertilise” the child’s mind through proper adjustment of his physical surroundings. Nothing is more certain—and least appreciated by the average parent—than the fact that every detail in the child’s material environment is of suggestive significance to him. Even the pictures on the walls of his room, the design and arrangement of the furniture and ornaments, the pattern and colouring of the wall-paper, may play a decisive part in shaping his character and quickening or deadening his intellectual activities. For the matter of that, as observation and experiment have repeatedly demonstrated, adults almost as much as children react to the suggestive influence of their home environment, even to the extent at times of thereby being unfavourably affected in health.
That is why sick people are so frequently benefited by change of scene. Travel removes them from the baneful influence of their accustomed environment, and assists in breaking down the mental habits injurious to their well-being. Too often, however, to their bitter disappointment, they suffer a relapse after returning home. Yet they need not remain abroad indefinitely in order to obtain a lasting cure. In many instances they need not go abroad at all, but can secure the desired result by making a change in their home surroundings. A most instructive case in point is afforded by an experience that occurred to Mr. Frank Alvah Parsons, a practical psychologist as well as a successful teacher of art in New York city.