DEDICATED TO
RALPH T. HALE
—EDITOR OF SMALL, MAYNARD AND COMPANY—
MY PUBLISHER—BUT STILL MY FRIEND

CONTENTS

CHAPTER
I [INTRODUCING ALEX THE GREAT]
II [THE SELF-COMMENCER]
III [PLAY YOUR ACE!]
IV [DON'T GIVE UP THE TIP!]
V [YOU CAN DO IT!]
VI [THE LITTLE THINGS DON'T COUNT]
VII [ART IS WRONG]

ILLUSTRATIONS

[ Along he comes with some dame he must have kidnapped from the Follies when Ziegfeld was busy countin' up the receipts or somethin'. . . . . . . Frontispiece ]

[ I struck a match and he tells me they is 9,765,543 of them used in New York every fiscal year. ]

[ "She's going to marry me, she's going to marry me!" ]

[ She's knittin' a sweater for me that will prob'ly make me off her for life. ]

[ "How perfectly sweet! If you two only knew what a pretty picture you make!" ]

[ "Heavens!" says the vampire. "You must have worked all your life to acquire ignorance, for no one was ever born as stupid as you!" ]