All this is, of course, a trying matter to a child, and a taxing matter to a parent; but it is to the obvious advantage of both parties. If a child is seen to be lacking in courtesy, his parents are understood to be at fault in his training, so far. If, on the other hand, a child is not trained to courtesy while a child, he is at a disadvantage from his lack of training, as long as he lives. If he has not been trained to give others the first place in his thoughts while he is with them, and to give open expression to all the interest in them which he really has, he cannot be free and unembarrassed in conversation with any and all whom he meets. If, on the other hand, he has had wise and careful training in this direction, he is sure to be as pleasing as he is courteous to others; and to receive as much enjoyment as he gives, through his courtesy in intercourse with all whom he meets.
Personal embarrassment in the presence of others, and a lack of freedom in the expression of one’s interest in others, are generally the result of an undue absorption in one’s own interests or appearance, and of one’s lack of self-forgetful interest in the words and ways and needs of those whom he is summoned to meet. The surest protection of one’s children against these misfortunes, is by the wise training of those children to have an interest in others, and to give expression to that interest, whenever they are with others, at home or abroad; and so to be courteous and to show their courtesy as a result of such training.
XVIII.
CULTIVATING A CHILD’S TASTE IN READING.
“Reading is to the mind what exercise is to the body,” says Addison. “As, by the one, health is preserved, strengthened, and invigorated; by the other, virtue (which is the health of the mind) is kept alive, cherished, and confirmed.” And Dr. Johnson adds, “The foundation of knowledge must be laid by reading.”
But there is reading, and reading; there is reading that debilitates and debases the mind; as there is reading that strengthens and invigorates it. There is reading that forms the basis of knowledge, and there is reading that lessens the reader’s desire for knowledge. A love of reading is an acquired taste, not an instinctive preference. The habit of reading is formed in childhood; and a child’s taste in reading is formed in the right direction or in the wrong one while he is under the influence of his parents; and they are directly responsible for the shaping and cultivating of that taste.
A child ought to read books that are helpful to his growth in character and in knowledge; and a child ought to love to read these books. A child will love to read such books as his parents train, or permit, him to find pleasure in reading. It is the parent who settles this question—by action or by inaction. It is the child who reaps the consequences of his parents’ fidelity or lack in this sphere.
Of course, it is not to be understood that a child is to read, and to love to read, only those books which add to his stock of knowledge, or which immediately tend to the improvement of his morals; for there is as legitimate a place for amusement and for the lighter play of imagination in a child’s reading, as there is for recreation and laughter in the sphere of his physical training. As one of the fathers of English poetry has told us,