A sensitive, timid little boy, long years ago, was accustomed to lie down to sleep in a low “trundle-bed,” which was rolled under his parents’ bed by day, and was brought out for his use by night. As he lay there by himself in the darkness, he could hear the voices of his parents, in their lighted sitting-room, across the hall-way, on the other side of the house. It seemed to him that his parents never slept; for he left them awake when he was put to bed at night, and he found them awake when he left his bed in the morning. So far this thought was a cause of cheer to him, as his mind was busy with imaginings in the weird darkness of his lonely room.
After loving good-night words and kisses had been given him by both his patents, and he had nestled down to rest, this little boy was accustomed, night after night, to rouse up once more, and to call out from his trundle-bed to his strong-armed father, in the room from which the light gleamed out, beyond the shadowy hall-way, “Are you there, papa?” And the answer would come back cheerily, “Yes, my child, I am here.” “You’ll take care of me to-night, papa; won’t you?” was then his question. “Yes, I’ll take care of you, my child,” was the comforting response. “Go to sleep now. Good-night.” And the little fellow would fall asleep restfully, in the thought of those assuring good-night words.
A little matter that was to the loving father; but it was a great matter to the sensitive son. It helped to shape the son’s life. It gave the father an added hold on him; and it opened up the way for his clearer understanding of his dependence on the loving watchfulness of the All-Father. And to this day when that son, himself a father and a grandfather, lies down to sleep at night, he is accustomed, out of the memories of that lesson of long ago, to look up through the shadows of his earthly sleeping-place into the far-off light of his Father’s presence, and to call out, in the same spirit of child-like trust and helplessness as so long ago, “Father, you’ll take care of me to-night; won’t you?” And he hears the assuring answer come back, “He that keepeth thee will not slumber. The Lord shall keep thee from all evil. He shall keep thy soul. Sleep, my child, in peace.” And so he realizes the twofold blessing of a father’s good-night words.
A wise parent will prize and will rightly use the hour of the children’s bed-time. That is the golden hour for good impressions on the children’s hearts. That is the parent’s choicest opportunity of holy influence. There should be no severity then, no punishment at that time. Every word spoken in that hour should be a word of gentleness and affection. The words which are most likely to be borne in mind by the children, in all their later years, as best illustrating the spirit and influence of their parents, are the good-night words of those parents. And it may be that those words are the last that the parents shall ever have the privilege of speaking to their children; for every night of sleep is a pregnant suggestion of the night of the last sleep. Let, then, the good-night words of parents to their children be always those words by which the parents would be glad to be remembered when their voices are forever hushed; and which they themselves can recall gladly if their children’s ears are never again open to good-night words from them.
INDEX.
- Abraham as a child-trainer, [14], [15.]
- Accidents, sympathy with children in, [255.]
- Adams, John Quincy, on the mother-love, [271.]
- Addison, Joseph, on reading, [175.]
- Affectation, of grief, for selfish ends, [98.]
- Afraid, when a child is old enough to be, [130.]
- Allowing play to a child’s imagination, [277]–282 (see Imagination).
- Ambidextrous, gain of being, [59.]
- Amusements:
- Anger:
- Animals:
- Answering:
- Apologizing, duty and manliness of, [172.]
- Appetite:
- Assertion, self, inconsistent with courtesy, [166.]
- Atmosphere, influence of the home, [257]–262.
- Bad boy, the:
- Bashful child, the, [18.]
- Bedtime:
- Beginning:
- Bending a child’s will, distinguished from its breaking, [38.]
- Best things kept for Sunday, [146.]
- Bible-study on Sunday is not always worship, [142.]
- Books [see Reading].
- Braddock and Washington as contrasting cowardice and fear, [225.]
- Bravery consistent with fear, [225.]
- Breaking a child’s will is never right, [47]–52.
- Bushnell, Horace:
- Candy:
- Censure:
- Centripetal force of some amusements, [162.]
- Chance, the element of, not admissible in children’s amusements, [160.]
- Character:
- Choice:
- faculty of, identified with the will, [38;]
- God’s dealings with men, on the basis of their freedom of, [39;]
- not abrogated by rewards and punishments, [40;]
- of obedience or punishment, a fair one, [44], [46;]
- for a child by parents, of studies and duties, [58;]
- of food and drink, [109;]
- of amusements, [156], [164;]
- of reading, [176;]
- of companionships, 197 f.;
- of a residence, school, a week-day school, or a Sunday-school, [201].
- Christ [see Jesus Christ].
- Christian faith, the remedy for child-sorrows, [245.]
- Christmas:
- Church services should be made attractive to children, [153.]
- Classic examples of table-talk, [187.]
- Coaxing a child to be quiet, [97.]
- College curriculum, its value as a means of training, [56.]
- Comforting children by sympathy, [249.]
- Companionships:
- Condiments, a child’s use of, 111, [115.]
- Confession:
- Conscientiousness, of young parents, as a cause of over-doing child-training, [84] f.
- Control [see Self-Control].
- Conversation:
- Counseling, not identical with training, [17.]
- Courtesy, training a child to, [165]–174.
- Cowardice, distinguished from fear, [224.]
- Criticism, of our children, by others, to be heeded, [34.]
- Crying:
- Cultivating a child’s taste for reading, [175]–186 [see Reading].
- Curbing, an element in training, [30].
- Dark side of life, seen first by the child, [239.]
- David’s recognition of the mother-love, [264].
- Dealing tenderly with a child’s fears, [223]–238 [see Fears].
- Death in the atmosphere, [258.]
- Definition:
- Denying:
- De Quincey on “fine manners,” [166.]
- Diagnosis, important in parental care, as in medical practice, [30.]
- Dictionary, at hand for use in table-talk, [193.]
- Discerning a child’s special need of training, [29]–36.
- Discipline:
- Dogs:
- to be trained, not broken, 50 f.;
- a natural tone of voice in the training of, [219].
- Dolls, as a child’s treasure, [243.]
- Duty of training children, [17]–22.
- Education:
- Eli honoring the child Samuel’s individuality, [73.]
- English custom of separating parents and children at meal-time, [190.]
- Etiquette, distinguished from courtesy, [170.]
- Eton, influence of its playground on the battle of Waterloo, [161.]
- Ex post facto laws not justifiable, [215.]
- Eye and ear, trained by playthings and games, 160.
- Fact and fancy, a child distinguishes between, [277.]
- Fairy-tales:
- Faith, training a child’s, [129]–138.
- Fancy and fact [see Fact].
- Fathers sharing the amusements of children, [158.]
- Faults:
- Fears, dealing tenderly with a child’s, [223]–238.
- Feeble-minded children, their special lack, 20, [21.]
- Fiction:
- First child, danger of over-doing the training of the, 84, [87.]
- Food:
- Forcing a child’s will:
- never right, 42 f.;
- permanent harm of, [48].
- Freedom:
- Freshness of a child’s thought on profound themes, 80, [131.]
- “Friend-enemies,” parents as, according to Herbert Spencer, 255.
- Games:
- Gentlemanliness, appealing to a boy’s, [79.]
- Gentleness:
- “Ghosts and goblins,” in child-fears, 226, [237.]
- Gifts:
- Gleason, the horse-trainer, methods of, [50.]
- Good-breeding, defined, [166.]
- Good-night words, [291]–300.
- Gospel of John, as a first Bible book for South Sea Islanders, [132.]
- Grief:
- Guests, permitting children to sit at table with, [189.]
- Guiding a child in companionships, [197]–204 [see Companionships].
- Gullet, rubbing of the, a primitive custom, 14.
- Habits:
- Hagar, an example of the mother-love, [265.]
- Hammond, S. T., on dog-training, [50], [219].
- Hannah, an example of the mother-love, [266.]
- Hasty denial of a child’s request, unwise, [107.]
- History, a child trained to enjoy books of, [180.]
- Home:
- Home atmosphere, influence of, 162 f., [257]–262.
- Honoring a child’s individuality 23, 29, 37, 57, [71]–82.
- Horses trained, not broken, 50.
- Illustrations:
- on the effects of training, [24;]
- Johnny and his father, as to shutting the door, [42;]
- a boy addressing a visitor by a familiar title, [46;]
- from animal-training, [50], [219;]
- flogging children on Innocents’ Day, [54;]
- the raisin-box wagon, [67;]
- self-denial of Spartans, [68;]
- difference between clay and the living germ, [72;]
- boy who knew better than his mother how sick he was, [76;]
- boy who could not spare his watch, [77;]
- stanzas from Wordsworth, [81;]
- a young father over-disciplining his first child, [84], [87;]
- “yanking” at the reins, [91;]
- “I want to be pacified,” [97;]
- an American educator training the children’s appetite for food, [114;]
- Shetland ponies trained to eat hay, [116;]
- Bishop Patteson among the South Sea Islanders, [132;]
- a boy’s rejoicing that Monday had come, [153;]
- battle of Waterloo won on Eton’s playground, [161;]
- Fourth of July suggesting study of American history, [184;]
- the table-talk of famous guests, as a means of education, [191;]
- lateral and perpendicular forces, [198;]
- a parent who could punish only when angry, [209;]
- a mission-school boy reproving his superintendent, [213;]
- a child punished in love, responding with love, [214;]
- Braddock and Washington in the presence of peril, [225;]
- a baby who “doesn’t like God’s voice,” [231;]
- a father overcoming his child’s fear of lightning, [231;]
- power of imaginary fear over a strong man, [233;]
- trusting God when afraid, [236;]
- “Do robbers take dolls?” [243;]
- a boy suicide, [245;]
- from Herbert Spencer, on sympathy, [249;]
- life and death in the atmosphere, [258;]
- historical, of a mother’s love, [263]–276;
- of the play of a child’s imagination, [278;]
- of Christmas festivities, 284 f.;
- “the old woman that lived in a shoe,” [294;]
- the boy calling from his “trundle-bed” to his father, [297].
- Imagination:
- encouraging free play of a child’s, [176;]
- a cause of child-fears, [225;]
- its part in the fears of the mature man, [233;]
- distinguished from superstition, [234;]
- to be appealed to, in overcoming such fears, [235], [236;]
- a child’s, to be guarded from ghost-stories, [237;]
- allowing play to a child’s, [277]–282.
- Imperfect development of every child, [21.]
- Improvements in school appliances, etc., [54.]
- Incarnation, disclosure of, in training child-faith, [136.]
- Inclination must submit to discipline, [57.]
- Indignation, in punishing, distinguished from anger, [212.]
- Influence of the home atmosphere, [257]–262.
- Innate, faith toward God is, but knowledge of him is not, [130.]
- “Innocents’ Day,” a time for flogging children, [54.]
- Instinctive:
- Interrogation-point, a child as an animated, [119.]
- Issue with a child to be avoided as far as possible, 46, 88.
- James and John, their mother’s example of the mother-love, [266.]
- Jeroboam’s wife, an example of the mother-love, [266.]
- Jesus Christ:
- Jochebed, an example of the mother-love, [265.]
- John’s Gospel as a first book for heathen converts, [132.]
- Johnson, Dr., on reading, 175;
- on the mother-love, [269].
- Joyful observance of the Lord’s Day, 141, [153.]
- Judgment, in judge or parent, should not be hasty, 206.
- Kindergarten, a fundamental truth in its system, [160.]
- Knowledge:
- Late hours, amusements of the child should not involve, [161.]
- Laughing:
- Letting alone as a means of child-training, [83]–92.
- Life:
- Lightning and thunder, overcoming a child’s fears of, [231.]
- Limitations:
- Lord’s Day:
- Love:
- God’s, includes the bad child, [135;]
- necessary to acceptable worship or work, [140;]
- parental, in punishing, awakens child’s, [214;]
- distinguished from sympathy, [248], [256;]
- an element of the home atmosphere, [261;]
- the power of a mother’s, [263]–276;
- the divine compared with a mother’s, [261;]
- historical illustrations of, and testimonies to a mother’s, [263]–276.
- “Luck,” no place for it in children’s games, [160.]
- Luther, Martin:
- individuality of, in childhood, honored by Trebonius, [74;]
- on the mother-love, 270.
- Macaulay, Lord, on the mother-love, [272.]
- Making believe as distinct from deception, [278.]
- Manliness promoted by amusements, [160.]
- Manners, fine, according to De Quincey, [166.]
- Meals, mental and moral enjoyments at, [187.]
- Memory:
- Mental defects remedied, [25.]
- Misrepresenting God to a child, [135.]
- Mission-school, illustration of the bad boy in one, [213.]
- Moses, the possibilities of his character in infancy, [72.]
- Mother Goose, value of, [177.]
- Mother:
- Mother’s love:
- Music in the home, [163.]
- “Must” the place of, in training, [53]–60 [see Discipline].
- “Nagging” is not training, [90.]
- Napoleon Bonaparte, on the mother-love, [273.]
- Natural:
- Neighbors’ criticism of our children valuable, [33.]
- Never punish a child in anger, [205]–216.
- News, daily, outlined by father at breakfast table, 193.
- Night [see Good-night Words].
- Nonsense songs, value of, [177.]
- Nott, President, soothed at ninety by old lullabies, 271.
- Observance of Sabbath, training a child to, [139]–154.
- “Only child, the:”
- Opinions of a child, honoring the, [80.]
- Over-doing in child-training:
- Oxygen, analogy from, 258 f.
- Parents:
- undervalue their power to train, [17], [35;]
- blindness of, to the peculiar faults of their children, [31;]
- should heed criticism of neighbors and friends, [33;]
- faults of, often reappear in their children, [35;]
- should never force a child’s choice, [41;]
- anger no help to, in training, [44], [205;]
- permanent harm to, in breaking their child’s will, [48;]
- should control a child’s personal habits, [56;]
- must often deny a child’s requests, [62;]
- must honor a child’s individuality, [71;]
- often inferior in possibilities to their children, [75;]
- young, in danger of over-disciplining a child, [83;]
- should seek to avoid direct issues with a child, [89;]
- teaching the infant self-control, [94;]
- training children to tease, [102;]
- respect of, lost by children who tease, [105;]
- giving sugar and condiments, [116;]
- average, unable to answer questions of average children, [122;]
- as revealers of revelation, [131;]
- must have faith in order to train a child’s faith, [137;]
- should provide peculiar occupations and privileges for Sunday, [144], [148;]
- should be the center of their children’s amusements, [157], [163;]
- should learn from the kindergarten system, [160;]
- should train children to courtesy, [173;]
- responsible for children’s reading, [176], [180;]
- should give children a share in family table-talk, [190], [196;]
- responsible for choice of a child’s companions, [197], [201;]
- should never punish in anger, [205;]
- as peace-keepers and policemen, [211;]
- should never scold, [217;]
- should deal tenderly with child-fears, [223;]
- should have sympathy for child-sorrows, [242;]
- should point to Christ, as the way of comfort, [246;]
- as “friend-enemies,” [255;]
- responsible for a home-atmosphere, [259]–261;
- allowing play to a child’s imagination, 277 f.;
- should prepare for Christmas festivities, 283 f.;
- the good-night words of, [291].
- Passions and appetites, self-control of, should begin early, [99.]
- Patience, necessity of:
- Patteson, Bishop, among the South Sea Islanders, [132.]
- Paul’s self-control, [98.]
- Person, faith rests on a, [129.]
- Personal:
- Physical:
- Place of “must” in training, the, [53]–60.
- Place of sympathy in child-training, [247]–256.
- Playmates:
- Playthings:
- Politeness, true, [166.]
- Porter, President, on a college curriculum, [56.]
- Power of a mother’s love, the, [263]–276 [see Mother’s Love].
- Prayer:
- Preferences, personal:
- Profound thought possible to a child, 80;
- Protection of a child, in danger, distinguished from punishment, [210], [211.]
- Punish a child in anger, never, [205]–216.
- Punishment:
- divine, not destructive of free-will, [40;]
- teaching a child to choose obedience or, [44] f.;
- undue severity of, [45;]
- has a proper use, [205;]
- should be a calm and judicial act, [206;]
- distinguished from prompt protection of a child in danger, [210], [211;]
- administered in love, is recognized as love prompted, [214;]
- often harder for a parent than for his child, [215;]
- not to be inflicted upon an offense of ignorance, [215;]
- child’s permanent good the purpose of, [216;]
- evil of postponing until the child’s bed-time, [294], [295].
- Puzzles, for Sunday, [151].
- Questioner, training a child as a, [119]–128.
- Questions:
- Quiet talking more effective than scolding, [220].
- Rachel, an example of the mother-love, [265.]
- Rarey, the horse-trainer, method of, [50.]
- Reading:
- Reasonable fears to be met by reason, [228.]
- Recreation distinguished from amusement, [155.]
- Reference-books, use of, in family table-talk, [193.]
- Residence, companionships for children to be in mind, when choosing a, [201.]
- Respect, self, of the courteous man, [166.]
- Rest, not in inaction, but in change, [142].
- Rewards:
- Rich children in danger of being untrained in self-denial, [65.]
- Ridicule cannot overcome child-fears, [224], [228.]
- Rizpah, an example of the mother-love, [266.]
- Romans, their table-talk, [187.]
- Rubbing the gullet, a primitive custom, [14].
- Sabbath observance, training children to, [139]–154.
- Samuel’s individuality, in childhood, honored by Eli, [73.]
- Santa Claus, as a Christmas fancy, [279.]
- Science, training a child to enjoy books of, [180.]
- Scolding:
- Scope and limitations of child-training, [23]–28 [see Limitations].
- Self-assertion not consistent with courtesy, [166.]
- Self-control:
- Self-denial:
- Self-forgetfulness the basis of courtesy, [168.]
- Selfishness fostered by the granting of every request, [63.]
- Self-respect of the courteous man, [166.]
- Sermons for children, read at home on Sunday, [150.]
- Sharing:
- Shetland ponies trained to eat hay, [116.]
- Shunammite woman, an example of the mother-love, [266.]
- Silly questions not to be encouraged, [125.]
- Skelton, John, on scolding, [218.]
- Skill, not chance, in children’s games, [161.]
- Soldier:
- Solomon:
- Sorrows of children, the, [239]–246;
- South Sea Islanders taught from John’s Gospel first, [132.]
- Spartan children trained to self-denial, [68.]
- Special need of training, discerning a child’s, [29]–36.
- Spencer, Herbert, on intellectual sympathy with children, [249.]
- Spoiled child, the:
- Studying a child’s specific needs, [35.]
- Sugar-plums to “pacify” crying children, [97], [111.]
- Suicide of children, [244.]
- Sunday-school:
- Symmetry in child-training, dependent on companionships, [200.]
- Sympathy:
- of parents with children in amusements, [157;]
- in companionships, [199;]
- in fears, [235] f.;
- place of, in child-training, [247]–256;
- defined, [248], [256;]
- Herbert Spencer on, [249;]
- in a child’s misdeeds and accidents, [254;]
- not wholly natural to parents, [256;]
- in the “home-atmosphere,” [261;]
- craved by a child at bed-time, [292].
- Syro-Phœnician woman, an example of the mother-love, [266].
- Table-talk, the value of, [187]–196.
- Taste in reading, cultivating a child’s, [175]–186 [see Reading].
- Teaching distinguished from training, [11.]
- Tease, training a child not to, [101]–108.
- Tenderly dealing with a child’s fears, [223]–238 [see Fears].
- Thought, profound, possible to a child, [80.]
- Thoughtfulness for others distinguished from self-forgetfulness, [169.]
- Thunder and lightning, overcoming a child’s fear of, [231.]
- Timidity to be overcome by training, [227.]
- Timothy’s mother, an example of the mother-love, [266.]
- Topics, assigning special, for next day’s family table-talk, [194.]
- Toys:
- Training:
- distinguished from teaching, [11;]
- defined, [12;]
- should begin at birth, [15;]
- shapes character, [16;]
- more than counseling, [17;]
- limited by a child’s capacity, [23;]
- special, necessary for every child, [29;]
- danger of its developing the poorer self, [30;]
- the child’s will, [37;]
- need of gentleness in, [44;]
- by discipline, [53;]
- a child to do unpleasant duties, [55], [59;]
- by denying requests, [61;]
- of an only child, [62;]
- letting alone as a means of, [83]–92;
- of a first child, 84 f.;
- over-doing in, an error, [90;]
- “nagging” is not, [90;]
- to self-control, [93]–100;
- not to tease, [101]–108;
- Susannah Wesley’s method of, [105;]
- a child’s appetite, [109]–118;
- children as questioners, [119]–128;
- a child’s faith, [129]–138;
- to Sabbath observance, [139]–154;
- in amusements, [155]–164;
- to courtesy, [165]–174;
- a child’s taste in reading, [175;]
- value of table-talk in, [189;]
- child-companionships as an element in, [197;]
- has no place for scolding, [217]–222;
- tone of voice in, [219;]
- by tenderness toward a child’s fears, [223]–238;
- joyousness as a result of, [240;]
- sympathy as an aid in, [247]–256;
- home atmosphere as a power in, [257]–262;
- power of a mother’s love in, [263]–276;
- through the play of a child’s imagination, [277]–282;
- by good-night words and deeds, [291]–300.
- Trebonius, honoring the individuality of children, [74.]
- Trust:
- “Tunge of a skolde,” John Skelton’s couplet on, [218].
- Unselfishness:
- Value:
- Values, child-sorrows measured by those of the child, [243.]
- Voice, necessity of natural tone of, in training, [219].
- Wagon, raisin-box, [67.]
- Wanting not always reason for granting, [69.]
- Washington and Braddock as to fear, [225.]
- Watch, boy who could not spare his, [77.]
- Waterloo, battle of, won on Eton’s playground, [161.]
- Wear, parents should decide what children may, [117.]
- Wellington, Duke of, quoted, [161.]
- Wesley, Susannah, her method in training, [105.]
- Whipping at bed-time, unwisdom of, [295.]
- Will, training of, rather than breaking, [37]–52.
- Wisdom:
- Words, good-night [see Good-night].
- Wordsworth, quoted, [81.]
- Worship:
- “Yanking” at the reins is not good driving, [91.]
- Young: