Conclusion
My experience has been in no way unique; thousands of other men have gone through and are now experiencing much greater risks and hardships than any I have so far encountered. Fortunate men like myself live to write or talk of them, but in doing so feel almost contemptible to themselves when they compare their lot with those of the men who have given their lives and their all in the great sacrifice for the cause of humanity. However, we have taken our chance and now we are only too glad of an opportunity to tell of the bravery and cheerfulness of our comrades in the trenches. In my account I have related a number of characteristic incidents which came within my own observation, or which happened on our small front. Thousands of such incidents are happening every day all along the line and are a part of the every-day life.
On my return to the United States I returned to California for a short vacation and the rest I badly needed. In October, 1917, I received a commission as a captain in the Engineer Reserve Corps, and reported again for duty, and I now am expecting that I will be shortly ordered overseas again.
When I return this time it will not be for love of adventure, curiosity, or any such reason, only the same sense of duty which impels most of us to the task. Although there is undoubtedly a certain fascination which admits of no reasonable explanation in living in and going up to the trenches, I have never yet met a man who has spent a long period there who can truthfully tell me he really likes it.
Our great army is still new to us, but, nevertheless, I believe it is the duty of every person with a fair sense of justice, to learn to distinguish between the various aims of the service. The infantryman is the man who undergoes most of the dangers and risks, the real fighting man, and the man too who experiences the greatest hardships and discomforts. Find out if you can where a man has served, whether it was in the trenches or in a more or less comfortable billet in a village far from the lines and appreciate him accordingly. When successful actions occur in which the infantry, as usual, are the main heroes, don't forget the work of the engineer which made much of the success possible. A lady said to me recently: "Why, the engineers are in no danger, they don't go into the trenches, do they?" I hope that my account of an engineer's life at the front will do something to dismiss such ideas.
Every man and woman who plays his or her full part in this great struggle is justly accorded honor, and the greater the sacrifice the greater the honor.
I would not depreciate for a minute the value to the country of those men in the rear of the lines who are a necessary and vital part of the machinery of war, but I am jealous for the men who suffer most and endure almost unbearable hardships in the real trenches.
No officer who has served in this campaign has anything but the most unstinted praise for the men in the ranks—the real workers and the real fighting men. Many of us have felt at times that we were hardly fit to even tie their shoe-laces, such examples of cheerfulness and courage did they set us, and such inspiration did they afford us with their never-tiring devotion. Thoughts of this nature occurred to me last year when we buried one of our own lads just behind the lines, and paid him the last and only salute that an enlisted man receives. But his memory will never die!
CHAPTER XIII
THE PSYCHOLOGY OF FEAR
From a prolonged and varied experience under shell-fire, machine-gun, rifle, trench-mortar fire, etc., and from an intimate and close association with men of all kinds in times of deadly peril, it seems evident to me that personal courage is very largely a matter of physical condition and general health, and that, provided a man be healthy and his nerves in good condition, it is natural for him to be brave.