“I come in here to make it up,” he said, with a voice charged with griefs, “after all you’ve done, and you go and you talk of autonomy!”
His feelings passed beyond words. An extremity of viciousness flashed into his face. He gave vent to a snarl of exasperation, “Ya-ap!” he said, he raised his clenched fists and seemed on the verge of assault, and then with a gesture between fury and despair, he wheeled about and the purple-striped pyjamas danced in passionate retreat from her room.
“Autonomy!...”
A slam, a noise of assaulted furniture, and then silence.
Lady Harman stood for some moments regarding the paper-covered door that had closed behind him. Then she bared her white forearm and pinched it—hard.
It wasn’t a dream! This thing had happened.
§12
At a quarter to three in the morning, Lady Harman was surprised to find herself wide awake. It was exactly a quarter to three when she touched the stud of the ingenious little silver apparatus upon the table beside her bed which reflected a luminous clock-face upon the ceiling. And her mind was no longer resting in the attitude of thought but extraordinarily active. It was active, but as she presently began to realize it was not progressing. It was spinning violently round and round the frenzied figure of a little man in purple-striped pyjamas retreating from her presence, whirling away from her like something blown before a gale. That seemed to her to symbolize the completeness of the breach the day had made between her husband and herself.
She felt as a statesman might feel who had inadvertently—while conducting some trivial negotiations—declared war.
She was profoundly alarmed. She perceived ahead of her abundant possibilities of disagreeable things. And she wasn’t by any means as convinced of the righteousness of her cause as a happy warrior should be. She had a natural disposition towards truthfulness and it worried her mind that while she was struggling to assert her right to these common social freedoms she should be tacitly admitting a kind of justice in her husband’s objections by concealing the fact that her afternoon’s companion was a man. She tried not to recognize the existence of a doubt, but deep down in her mind there did indeed lurk a weakening uncertainty about the right of a woman to free conversation with any man but her own. Her reason disowned that uncertainty with scorn. But it wouldn’t go away for all her reason. She went about in her mind doing her utmost to cut that doubt dead....