Still, I can't rid myself of it. It haunts my conscience, so to speak. Just think of it a moment. Imagine praying in a—bedroom! Don't you get a vague flavour of, say, impropriety? Isn't it a trifle—indelicate?
LUCIA
I think you are talking nonsense.
HELIOGABALUS
[Reaching for the water-jug and pouring out another goblet] Maybe I am. [He takes a swallow, chokes and spits it out] But isn't that precisely what a man seeks in marriage—a sort of virtuous nonsense? You forget the way I make a living, my cold little rabbit. My days are filled with gloomy duties. If I didn't look solemn as an owl the people would lose confidence in me. Say I go to the circus. There are twenty Jews in the arena, and the guards let out the lions. One Jew tries to climb up another Jew. Imagine the fun!
LUCIA
How you talk!
HELIOGABALUS
[Rubbing his stomach, as if feeling a pain] Nevertheless, it is actual fun, genuine humour—and I naturally want to squat on my little rearo, throw back my ears and yell. But I am the Emperor, and so I must keep my dignity. Every one else whoops and bawls, but if I go further than a snicker then it begins to be talked of in the barber-shops, and people say that I am drinking too much. [He casts a self-pitying glance at the water-bottle] Even as it is, a good many of them think that I am somewhat—flightier—than I ought to be. For example, consider my interest in you—especially my interest in your faith—this so-called Christianity of yours. Well, to you it may be serious enough, but think how it must appear to the average respectable Roman. He regards it as simply pishposh—and he thinks of me much as he would think of me if he heard that I was interested in some sort of idiotic Egyptian sorcery.
LUCIA