LUCIA
Maybe a kiss.
HELIOGABALUS
Hear, hear! Maybe a kiss! And here I am Emperor, not to say Pontifex Maximus, not to say a husband! [He climbs into the big bed and starts across toward LUCIA on hands and knees. She begins to roll away from him] Hey, there, little cocoanut, where are you going? [He falls flat] Halt! [He gets in motion again] Remember, sweet oyster: love, honour and obey!
[LUCIA eludes him, and he descends to various monkey-shines by way of wheedling her. He grabs a pillow and hurls it at her and she flings it back at him. Finally, to the tune of her screeches, he reaches her. He grabs her arm.
[At this instant there is a heavy knocking at the door. HELIOGABALUS leaps back, and listens on hands and knees, ears up, in the attitude of a cocker-spaniel]
HELIOGABALUS
Thirty thousand oh-hells!
LUCIA