CAIUS
That's it—and fetch her.
[He winks elaborately again and wobbles off, stumbling once or twice over his toga]
HELIOGABALUS
[Rising in his best imperial manner. As he gets to his legs the musicians repeat the massive chord of C major] Gentlemen, my apologies for my tardiness. The fact is, I didn't know until the last minute if my health would permit me to join you. I was brought here on a litter, attended by two physicians. They are out in the ante-chamber at this moment, mixing pills. [With the sudden malignancy of the dyspeptic] I shall take, say, 5,000 more pills. Then we'll see how far a doctor's neck can stretch—a curious scientific experiment—vivisection, so to speak. [Recovering his former manner] But this is no talk for a banquet. If I told you my symptoms you would fall into faints, with screams of horror. [One of the guests struggles to his feet and makes as if to speak] Yes, Senator, I have tried that Armenian lithia water. I don't doubt it cured your ringing in the ears, but it has only made my stomach-ache worse. No more water! I have got down enough water of late to float Caius' whole fleet. To the sewers with water! What have we here? [He lifts up a goblet and sniffs at it] Aha! Good red Terentum! Gentlemen, I pledge you!
[The whole assemblage rises, goblets in hand. Slaves elbow in with fresh jars of wine, placing them upon the table]
VARIOUS GUESTS
Vivat Imperator! Vivat Elegabalus!
HELIOGABALUS
Gentlemen, let us all drink to Rome, the one perfect and immortal Empire—the model and despair of other states—the mother of justice—the guardian of civilization! Rome cannot die! Rome forever!