What was I to do? I went as far as I decently could. I invited the gladiator to dinner. They died in each other's arms. I even buried him at my own expense.

LUCIA

You are horrible.

HELIOGABALUS

I am a husband.

LUCIA

You are a pagan—an infidel!

HELIOGABALUS

And you? Isn't a Christian an infidel? You, too, are an infidel—but [sentimentally]—a very dear, sweet little infidel. Now, how about another of those Christian kisses—but this time a man's size one?