Joan listened, and as she listened a new and terrible idea crept into her mind. Here, if she chose to take it if she could bring herself to take it was an easy path out of her difficulty: here was that which would effectually cure Henry of any desire to ruin himself by marrying her, and would put her beyond the reach of temptation. The thought made her faint and sick, but still she entertained it, so desperate was the case between her love and what she conceived to be her duty. If it could be done with certain safeguards and reservations why should it not be done? This man was in a humour to consent to anything; it was but a question of the sacrifice of her miserable self, whereby, so they said and so she believed, she would save her lover. In a minute she had made up her mind: at least she would sound the man and put the matter to proof.
“Do not kneel to me,” she said, breaking the silence; “you do not know what sort of woman it is to whom you are grovelling. Get up, and now listen. I love another man; and if I love another man, what do you think that my feelings are to you?”
“I think that you hate me, but I do not mind that,—in time you would come to care for me.”
“I doubt it, Mr. Rock; I cannot change my heart so easily. Do you know what terms I stand on with this man?”
“If you mean Sir Henry Graves, I have heard plenty of all that, and I am ready to forgive you.”
“You are very generous, Mr. Rock, but perhaps I had better explain a little. I think it probable that, unless I change my mind, within a week I shall be married to Sir Henry Graves.”
“Oh! my God!” he groaned; “I never thought that he would marry you.”
“Well, as it happens he will—that is, if I consent. And now do you know why?”
He shook his head.
“Then I will tell you, so that you may understand exactly about the woman whom you wish to make your wife. Do not think that I am putting myself in your power, for in the first place, if you use my words against me I shall deny them, and in the second I shall be married to Sir Henry and able to defy you. This is the reason, Mr. Rock:” and she bent forward and told him all in a few words, speaking in a low, clear voice.