And so, to come back to where we left off (for we said there should be no hurrying or haste here) let married people understand that the key to married happiness is to keep on "courting" each other. Indeed, to make courting continually grow to more and more. During the whole extent of married life, never neglect, much less forget to be lovers, and to show, by all your acts, that you are lovers, and great shall be your reward. Don't ask how to do this! You know how, well enough. Do it!
And be careful not to do anything that a careful lover ought not to do! This direction should be heeded by both husband and wife. Make yourself beautiful for your husband, Oh, wife, and keep yourself so. As between the public, or your friends, or society, give them what of yourself you can spare, after you have given to your lover all that you can bestow upon him, or he can wish you to bestow. Don't give to everybody and everything else, church, society, work, children, friends, or what-so-ever—don't give all of yourself to these, and let your husband "take what there is left." Don't do that, as you value your married success and happiness! Don't say: "Oh, but we are married now," and let it go at that!
The beautiful and delicate flowers of married love need to be watched and tended with the most skilful care, continually, by both husband and wife. Treated in this way, they will not only be fragrant and lovely through all the years of wedded life; but as, one by one, the blossoms shed their petals and change their forms so that luscious fruits may come in turn—as these changes take place, new, more beautiful and more fragrant flowers will continue to the very end of the longest married life. Don't ever forget this, or doubt it, as you hope for happiness in the marriage state! Mind what is here said, and act accordingly all the time—days, nights and Sundays.
Now if these truths are thoroughly inculcated, "kicked in" so firmly and deeply that they will never "jar loose" or get away, we will move on.
So, then, the first part of every act of coitus should always be a courting act, in which there should be no haste, but in which the parties should "make delays," as John Burroughs says.
And this should be added: that, for married lovers, courting has a far wider range of possibilities than it has for the unmarried. Previous to marriage, there are conventionalities and clothes in the way! After that, neither of these need be in evidence, and this makes a lot of difference, and all in favor of the best results, if rightly used, and made the most of. One hardly need to go into details here, (though this may be done later on in this writing). If the lovers will be as free with each other unclothed as clothed; if they will utterly ignore all conventionalities, and do with and for each other anything and everything that their impulses and inclinations suggest, or their desires prompt; if they will, with the utmost abandon give themselves up to petting each other in every possible way that mother nature has put within their reach; if they will hug and kiss and "spoon" and "play with each other" just as they want to do—if they will do this, and not hurry about it—then, in due course, they will successfully execute the first act of the great play they are performing; the sex organs will become fully ready for the union they are both longing for; the "prostate flow" will have added to the erect condition of the penis; the walls of the vagina and all the area of the vulva will be enlarged, soft, flexible and made smooth and slippery by a most generous supply of the "pre-coital secretion" and everything will be in perfect readiness for the next part of the performance, namely the union of the organs.
And here it becomes necessary to say something about the position of the parties in making such union. There are a large number of these possible, some of which may be noted later, but here, only the most common one will be considered (it is said there are more than forty different positions possible in this act).
The most common position is for the woman to lie flat on her back, with her legs spread wide apart, and her knees drawn up so that the angle made by the upper and lower part of the leg shall be less than a right angle. Her head should not be too high, there should be no pillow under it.
Into her arms, and between her spread legs as she lies thus, her lover should come. His body will thus be over and above her, and he should sustain himself on his elbows and knees, so that little or none of his weight may rest upon her. In this position, face to face (and it should be noted that only in the human family is this position of coitus possible! Among mere animals, the male is always upon the back of the female. They—mere animals—can never look each other in the eye and kiss each other during the act! This is another marked and very significant difference between human beings and all other animals in this regard) it is perfectly natural and easy for the organs to go together, when properly made ready, as here-before described. The woman should also place her heels in the knee-hollows of her lover's legs, and clasp his body with her arms.
The entrance of the penis into the vagina should not be too abrupt, unless circumstances are perfectly favorable for such meeting and it is the wish of the wife that it be made in this way. It is only fair to say, though, that such bold and pronounced entrance is often greatly desired by the woman, if her passion has been fully aroused at this stage of the act. Such union is not infrequently of the greatest delight to her, if everything is favorable for its being so made. But, if there is any pain produced in her by the coming together, the meeting should be gentle and slow, the penis working its way into the vagina by degrees, till, finally, it is entirely encased therein. Once thus happily together, the vagina and uterine cavity will still further expand, till, in due order, the two organs will be fitted together perfectly, a single unit, one, in the highest sense of unity.