Again, if, for any reason, the wife should be unable to meet her husband in coitus proper, because of weakness, or slight illness, or perhaps some temporary soreness of the parts, it would help the situation wonderfully if she would take his penis in her hand and "play with it" till he spent. He would love her for it, kiss her for it, give her his soul for it!
If a bride and bridegroom knew enough to introduce each other to the delights of an orgasm by "spending" each other by external excitation of the organs with their hands a few times before they united the organs at all, it would be to their lasting well being. This is especially true for the bride. If her lover would take her in his arms, even with all her clothes on, as she sat on his lap, in their bridal chamber, alone, and stroke her vulva till she "spent," the chances are many to one that he would have introduced her to such a joy that she would never forget it, all her life. Surely, such method is infinitely superior to raping a bride, as is so frequently done by the ignorant or goody-good young husband, who "stands upon his rights!"
Indeed, if a bride to be, who was so innocent or ignorant of her own sex possibilities that she had never experienced an orgasm—had never "spent"—could be "put wise" before her bridal-night, if she could be instructed enough to lead her to engage in some form of auto-erotism, bringing herself to an orgasm with her own hand, just for the sake of the experience it would give her, and so that she would have some clear idea of what she really wanted, before she went into the arms of her lover—if she could do this, in the right mental attitude, it would be greatly to her well-being, a worthy and valuable addition to her stock of knowledge of herself and of the powers that are latent within her. Her alleged loss of innocence by such act would be as nothing compared with the wisdom she would gain by the experience. When innocence leads to harmful results, it is time it was ended, and that knowledge takes its place!
As for the husband, the chances are not one in a million that he will be ignorant of what an orgasm is like before he marries, since all healthy young men "spend" at least once a week, automatically, if not otherwise!
Let it be said further, that auto-erotism, self-spending, may be practiced by both men and women, to their healthful benefit, when sexual exercise cannot be secured in any other way. It is only when carried to excess that such action is in any way harmful. The only danger is, that, the individual being alone and having all the means for self-gratification in his or her own hands, so to speak, it is quite possible to indulge in the action too freely, which, of course, leads to bad results. But the act itself is not bad. On the contrary, when kept within bounds, it is healthful and wholesome.
There are many unmarried women, maiden ladies, and especially widows, who would greatly improve their health if they practiced some form of auto-erotism, occasionally. When husbands and wives are forced to be much away from each other, it is right for them to occasionally satisfy themselves in this way, their souls filled with loving thoughts of the absent one the while.
There is any amount of nonsense current about auto-erotism. As a matter of fact, all boys masturbate, and many girls also. Some authors claim that more than half of all women engage in some form of auto-erotism, at some time in their lives, and the estimate is probably too low rather than too high. But, unless they carry the act to excess, they are guilty of no wrong. Not infrequently, they may make the act a means of great good to themselves. The sex organs are alive! They constantly secrete fluids that need to be excreted, as all other organs of the body do. They ought to be relieved, as their nature requires they should be. If this cannot be accomplished as the most natural way prescribes, it is only right to do the next best thing. Only, it should not be carried to excess. Be temperate in all things. Gratify yourself, but don't ABUSE yourself. Auto-erotism, or masturbation, should never be permitted to become "self-abuse," nor is there any need that it should ever do so. It should be self-upbuilding, not self degrading. Rightly used it can be thus.