It is unfortunate if people are married who are ill-matched in this regard, especially so if the difference between the two is of a pronounced nature, as when the husband or the wife is very amorous and virile, while his or her mate is unable to engage in the act, to any considerable extent, without suffering therefrom. If such case arises, the best should be made of the situation, the more robust party accommodating himself or herself to the incompetency or inability of the other, and the weaker one doing all that can rightly be done to strengthen and develop his or her infirmity. If this is done, the chances are many to one that, as times goes on, the parties will grow more and more alike—the strong becoming more docile and the weaker one more robust. Take time, love each other, court and be courted, and only the best results trill come of it all.
Now there are some women who are called "anesthetic," that is, they have no sex-passion, though the sex parts may be normal. Many physicians declare that as high as forty per cent of the women who are reared in modern social life are thus lacking. These women engage in coitus, though they get no pleasure from the act. They never reach the orgasm, and have no sensation of delight from the act; they seldom secrete the pre-coital fluid, and hence the union of the organs, or their motion, are never easy or pleasurable. They can become mothers, and often such bear many children. Such condition is greatly to be regretted, and many women suffer greatly from this cause.
It is highly probable, though, that many women who are counted as thus lacking are not, really, so! Many women will begin married life wholly anesthetic, and, often, sometime will become normal in this regard. This often happens. The probability is that many wives are not properly "courted" by their husbands—THE FIRST PART OF THE ACT IS NEGLECTED, or the husband merely acts on his rights—cohabits like a goat, all in an instant, anxious only to gratify his own lust; and that, under such treatment, the wife never gets a fair chance to really know her own powers. Such cases are sad beyond telling. For the most part, they are the result of ignorance on the part of the husband, and innocence and wrong teaching—wrong mental attitude—on the part of the wife. HENCE THE NEED OF INSTRUCTIONS TO BOTH.
But if almost any woman will get the right mental attitude toward sex-meeting, and then can be courted, as has been prescribed in these pages, the cases are rare indeed where a woman can be found who is really anesthetic. If you, wife, or you, husband, are "up against" such a condition, try "courting," as herewith laid down, in a proper mood and spirit, and you will come out all right. There is no doubt of it.
On the contrary, if the man is "impotent" there is small hope of his ever coming out of such condition, and the chances are many to one that he will never be able to satisfy his wife sexually. He may be a "good man," in a way, but he can never be a good husband, in the full meaning of that word.
On the other hand, if a woman marries for money, or a home, or position, or place, or power, or a "meal-ticket"—for anything but love, she will doubtless be anesthetic and stay so. She deserves to! She sells herself for a mess of pottage, whoever she is. She may be a "good woman," but she can never be a good wife.
The question is sometimes asked as to how late in life the sex organs can function pleasurably and wholesomely for the parties concerned. And here, as elsewhere, the reply can only be that it all depends on the individual. But this is true, that, as a rule, the status of the individual during the years of active life will persist, even to old age, if the sex-functions are used and not abused. There is no function of the body, however, which will "go to pieces" quicker, and ever after be a wreck, as will the sex organs, if they are not treated rightly.
And this works both ways: If too rigorously held in check, if denied all functioning whatever, the parts will atrophy, to the detriment of the whole nature, physical, mental, and spiritual. The body will become "dried up," the sex organs shriveled, and a corresponding shrinking of the whole man or woman, in all parts of the being, is very apt to follow.
On the other hand, an excess of sex-functioning will soon deprive the individual of all such power whatsoever. A man will, in his comparatively early life, lose the power of erection, or tumescence entirely, as a result of excess, either by masturbation or from too frequent coitus; and on the part of the woman, many unfortunate conditions are liable to arise. However, for reasons that have already been stated, a woman who is strongly sexed, and of a pronounced amorous nature, can maintain even great excess of sex exercise without suffering such ill results as would befall a man who should so indulge. That is, an excessively passionate wife can far sooner wear the life out of a husband who is only moderately amorous, than can an abnormally passionate husband wear out a moderately amorous wife.
But if the sex nature of the husband and wife are well cared for during the years of active life, neither too much restrained or too profusely exercised, the functioning power of the sex organs will remain, even to old age, with all their pleasure-giving powers and sensations intact. This is a wonderful physiological fact, which leads to a conclusion, as follows:—