But this sense of security of power did not last. As the novelty of her position in Pratt's household wore away she found her duties irksome. She resented the flocks of curious or melancholy visitors and began to perceive the bitter truth—that she was only a servant, after all, ministering to the pleasures of Pratt and his friends. She had very little time to herself, and could not escape her masters even for a drive in the Park—one or the other of them was always at her side.
She attempted to withdraw her consent to the use of her name, but Clarke, the guides, even her mother, insisted on the test. Britt alone of all her friends took the side of her fears. They were in correspondence of a formal sort, and when he reached the city he went straight to her, anxious to know what Clarke's plans actually were. To him she spoke more freely than ever before, expressing her dread of the flaring light which Clarke was about to turn upon her.
Britt listened gravely. "There is one way of escape," he said at last, with a smile, both mocking and tender. "I don't pretend to say it's to your mind, but want to remind you that my offer is still open. If you give me the necessary authority I will stop this crusade with a jolt."
"I'm grateful to you, Dr. Britt, truly I am, but I can't do what you ask—not even—" She hesitated and fell silent.
"Not even to save your life or mine. I don't blame you—I am but a poor thing."
"I didn't mean it that way. I respect you very, very much; but you must know Anthony depends on me, and, besides, maybe it is my duty to go on the platform. Father and grandfather both say it is. To them it seems small and selfish of me to want to be happy in my own home while the millions weep uncomforted; but oh, if I could only live my own life part of the time! If I could feel free of this terrible weight one day in seven."
Britt, looking into her clear eyes, acquired a new confidence in her. "Tell me, Miss Lambert, do you really believe that your father comes to you in this way?"
"I dare not doubt it," she answered, with evasive eyes.
"Some of the messages are not specially—"
"I know," she acquiesced, with a shudder. "There are evil spirits as well as good, and sometimes the bad ones come. I don't see why grandfather permits them to use me. He says he can't always help it if there are bad people in the circle. That is another reason why I dread this public test—there is no knowing what the evil spirits might make me say or do. If it did not mean so much to Anthony I would refuse—even if grandfather asked it."