"'Well, boy,' I said, 'I doubt if you will do;
I need stout men for picket-line and march—
Men that have bone and muscle—men inured
To toil and hardships—men, in short, my boy,
To march and fight and march and fight again.'
A queer expression lit his earnest face—
Half frown—half smile.
"'Well try me.' That was all
He answered, and I put him on the roll—
Paul Douglas, private—and he donned the blue.
Paul proved himself the best in my command;
I found him first at reveille, and first
In all the varied duties of the day.
His rough-hewn comrades, bred to boisterous ways,
Jeered at the slender youth with maiden hands,
Nicknamed him 'Nel,' and for a month or more
Kept up a fusillade of jokes and jeers.
Their jokes and jeers he heard but heeded not,
Or heeding did a kindly act for him
That jeered him loudest; so the hardy men
Came to look up to Paul as one above
The level of their rough and roistering ways.
He never joined the jolly soldier-sports,
But ever was the first at bugle-call,
Mastered the drill and often drilled the men.
Fatigued with duty, weary with the march
Under the blaze of the midsummer sun,
He murmured not—alike in sun or rain
His utmost duty eager to perform,
And ever ready—always just the same
Patient and earnest, sad and silent Paul.
"The day of battle came—that Sabbath day,
Midsummer.[[A]] Hot and blistering as the flames
Of prairie-fires wind-driven, the burning sun
Blazed down upon us and the blinding dust
Wheeled in dense clouds and covered all our ranks,
As we marched on to battle. Then the roar
Of batteries broke upon us. Glad indeed
That music to my soldiers, and they cheered
And cheered again and boasted—all but Paul—
And shouted 'On to Richmond!'—He alone
Was silent—but his eyes were full of fire.
"Then came the order—'Forward, double quick!'
And we rushed into battle—formed our line
Facing the foe—the ambushed, deadly foe,
Hid in the thicket, with the Union flag—
A cheat—hung out before it—luring us
Into a blazing hell. The battle broke
With wildest fury on us—crashed and roared
The rolling thunder of continuous fire.
We broke and rallied—charged and broke again,
And rallied still—broke counter-charge and charged
Loud-yelling, furious, on the hidden foe;—
Met thrice our numbers and came flying back
Disordered and disheartened. Yet again
I strove to rally my discouraged men,
But hell was fairly howling;—only Paul—
Eager, but bleeding from a bullet-wound
In the left arm—came bounding to my side.
But at that moment I was struck and fell—
Fell prostrate; and a swooning sense of death
Came on me, and I saw and heard no more
Of battle on that Sabbath.
"I awoke,
Confined and jolted in an ambulance
Piled with the wounded—driven recklessly
By one who chiefly cared to save himself.
Dizzy and faint I raised my head: my wound
Was not as dangerous as it might have been—
A scalp-wound on the temple; there, you see—"
He put his finger on the ugly scar—
"Half an inch deeper and some soldier friend,
Among the veterans gathered here to-night,
Perchance had told a briefer tale than mine.
"In front and rear I saw the reckless rout—
A broken army flying panic-struck—
Our proud brigades of undulating steel
That marched at sunrise under blazoned flags,
Singing the victory ere the cannon roared,
And eager for the honors of the day—
Like bison Indian-chased on windy plains,
Now broken and commingled fled the field.
Words of command were only wasted breath;
Colonels and brigadiers, on foot and soiled,
Were pushed and jostled by the hurrying hordes.
Anon the cry of 'Cavalry!' arose,
And army-teams came dashing down the road
And plunged into the panic. All the way
Was strewn with broken wagons, battery-guns,
Tents, muskets, knapsacks and exhausted men.
My men were mingled with the lawless crowd,
And in the swarm behind us, there was Paul—
Silent and soldier-like, with knapsack on
And rifle on his shoulder, guarding me
And marching on behind the ambulance.
So all that dark and dreadful night we marched,
Each man a captain—captain of himself—
Nor cared for orders on that wild retreat
To safety from disaster. All that night,
Silent and soldier-like my wounded Paul
Marched close behind and kept his faithful watch.
For ever and anon the jaded men,
Clamorous and threat'ning, sought to clamber in;
Whom Paul drove off at point of bayonet,
Wielding his musket with his good right arm.
But when the night was waning to the morn
I saw that he was weary and I made
A place for Paul and begged him to get in.
'No, Captain; no,' he answered,—'I will walk—
I'm making bone and muscle—learning how
To march and fight and march and fight again.'
That silenced me, and we went rumbling on.
Till morning found us safe at Arlington.
"A month off duty and a faithful nurse
Worked wonders and my head was whole again—
Nay—to be candid—cracked a little yet.
My nurse was Paul. Albeit his left arm,
Flesh-wounded, pained him sorely for a time,
With filial care he dressed my battered head,
And wrote for me to anxious friends at home—
But never wrote a letter for himself.
Thinking of this one day, I spoke of it:—
A cloud came o'er his face.
"'My friends,' he said,
'Are here among my comrades in the camp.'
That made a mystery and I questioned him:
He gave no answer—or evasive ones—
Seeming to shrink from question, and to wrap
Himself within himself and live within.
"Again we joined our regiment and marched;
Over the hills and dales of Maryland
Along the famous river wound our way.
On picket-duty at the frequent fords
For weary, laggard months were we employed
Guarding the broad Potomac, while our foes,
Stealthily watching for their human game,
Lurked like Apaches on the wooded shores.
Bands of enemy's cavalry by night
Along the line of river prowled, and sought
To dash across and raid in Maryland.
Three regiments guarded miles of river-bank,
And drilled alternately, and one was ours.
Off picket duty, alike in fair or foul,
With knapsacks on and bearing forty rounds,
From morn till night we drilled—battalion-drill—
Often at double-quick for weary hours—
Bearing our burdens in the blazing sun,
Till strong men staggered from the ranks and fell.
Aye, many a hardy man in those hard days
Was drilled and disciplined into his grave. Arose
Murmurs of discontent, and loud complaints
Fell on dull ears till patience was worn out
And mutiny was hinted. As for Paul
I never heard a murmur from his lips;
Nor did he ask a reason for the things
Unreasonable and hard required of him,
But straightway did his duty just as if
The nation's fate hung on it. I pitied Paul;
Slender of form and delicate, he bore
The toils and duties of the hardiest.
Ill from exposure, or fatigued and worn,
On picket hungered, shivering in the rain,
Or sweltering in full dress, with knapsack on,
Beneath the blaze of the mid-summer sun,
He held his spirit—always still the same
Patient and earnest, sad and silent Paul.
"We posted pickets two by two. At night,
By turns each comrade slept and took the watch.
Once in September, in a drenching storm,
Three days and nights with neither tent nor fire
Paul and a comrade held a picket-post.
The equinox raged madly. Chilling winds
In angry gusts roared from the northern hills,
Dashing the dismal rain-clouds into showers
That fell in torrents over all the land.
In camp the soldiers crouched in dripping tents,
Or shivered by the camp-fires. I was ill
And gladly sought the shelter of a hut.
Orders were strict and often hard to bear—
Nor tents nor fire upon the picket-posts—
Cold rations and a canopy of storms.
I pitied Paul and would have called him in,
But that I had no man to take his place;
Nor did I know he took upon himself
A double task. His comrade on the post
Was ill, and so he made a shelter for him
With his own blankets and a bed within;
And took the watch of both upon himself.
And on the third night near the dawn of day,
In rubber cloak stole in upon the post
A pompous major, on the nightly round,
Unchallenged. All fatigued and drenched with rain,
Still on his post with rifle in his hand—
Against a sheltering elm Paul stood and slept.
Muttering of death the brutal major stormed,
Then pitiless pricked the comrade with his sword,
And from his shelter drove him to the watch,
Burning with fever. There Paul interposed
And said: