But, notwithſtanding girls ſhould not be treated with unkindneſs, nor the firſt openings of the paſſions blighted by cold ſeverity; yet I am of opinion, that young females ſhould be accuſtomed very early in life to a certain degree of reſtraint. The natural caſt of character, and the moral diſtinctions between the ſexes, ſhould not be diſregarded, even in childhood. That bold, independent, enterpriſing ſpirit, which is ſo much admired in boys, ſhould not, when it happens to diſcover itſelf in the other ſex, be encouraged, but ſuppreſſed. Girls ſhould be taught to give up their opinions betimes, and not pertinaciouſly to carry on a diſpute, even if they ſhould know themſelves to be in the right. I do not mean, that they ſhould be robbed of the liberty of private judgment, but that they ſhould by no means be encouraged to contract a contentious or contradictory turn. It is of the greateſt importance to their future happineſs, that they ſhould acquire a ſubmiſſive temper, and a forbearing ſpirit: for it is a leſſon which the world will not fail to make them frequently practiſe, when they come abroad into it, and they will not practiſe it the worſe for having learnt it the ſooner. Theſe early reſtraints, in the limitation here meant, are ſo far from being an effect of cruelty, that they are the moſt indubitable marks of affection, and are the more meritorious, as they are ſevere trials of tenderneſs. But all the beneficial effects, which a mother can expect from this watchfulneſs, will be entirely defeated, if it is practiſed occaſionally, and not habitually, and if it ever appears to be uſed to gratify caprice, ill-humour, or reſentment.
Those who have children to educate ought to be extremely patient: it is indeed a labour of love. They ſhould reflect, that extraordinary talents are neither eſſential to the well-being of ſociety, nor to the happineſs of individuals. If that had been the caſe, the beneficent Father of the univerſe would not have made them ſo rare. For it is as eaſy for an Almighty Creator to produce a Newton, as an ordinary man; and he could have made thoſe powers common which we now conſider as wonderful, without any miraculous exertion of his omnipotence, if the exiſtence of many Newtons had been neceſſary to the perfection of his wiſe and gracious plan.
Surely, therefore, there is more piety, as well as more ſenſe, in labouring to improve the talents which children actually have, than in lamenting that they do not poſſeſs ſupernatural endowments or angelic perfections. A paſſage of Lord Bacon's furniſhes an admirable incitement for endeavouring to carry the amiable and chriſtian grace of charity to its fartheſt extent, inſtead of indulging an over-anxious care for more brilliant but leſs important acquiſitions. "The deſire of power in exceſs (ſays he) cauſed the angels to fall; the deſire of knowledge in exceſs cauſed man to fall; but in charity is no exceſs, neither can men nor angels come into danger by it."
A girl who has docility will ſeldom be found to want underſtanding enough for all the purpoſes of a ſocial, a happy, and an uſeful life. And when we behold the tender hope of fond and anxious love, blaſted by diſappointment, the defect will as often be diſcovered to proceed from the neglect or the error of cultivation, as from the natural temper; and thoſe who lament the evil, will ſometimes be found to have occaſioned it.
It is as injudicious for parents to ſet out with too ſanguine a dependence on the merit of their children, as it is for them to be diſcouraged at every repulſe. When their wiſhes are defeated in this or that particular inſtance, where they had treaſured up ſome darling expectation, this is ſo far from being a reaſon for relaxing their attention, that it ought to be an additional motive for redoubling it. Thoſe who hope to do a great deal, muſt not expect to do every thing. If they know any thing of the malignity of ſin, the blindneſs of prejudice, or the corruption of the human heart, they will alſo know, that that heart will always remain, after the very beſt poſſible education, full of infirmity and imperfection. Extraordinary allowances, therefore, muſt be made for the weakneſs of nature in this its weakeſt ſtate. After much is done, much will remain to do, and much, very much, will ſtill be left undone. For this regulation of the paſſions and affections cannot be the work of education alone, without the concurrence of divine grace operating on the heart. Why then ſhould parents repine, if their efforts are not always crowned with immediate ſucceſs? They ſhould conſider, that they are not educating cherubims and ſeraphims, but men and women; creatures, who at their beſt eſtate are altogether vanity: how little then can be expected from them in the weakneſs and imbecillity of infancy! I have dwelt on this part of the ſubject the longer, becauſe I am certain that many, who have ſet out with a warm and active zeal, have cooled on the very firſt diſcouragement, and have afterwards almoſt totally remitted their vigilance, through a criminal kind of deſpair.
Great allowances muſt be made for a profuſion of gaiety, loquacity, and even indiſcretion in children, that there may be animation enough left to ſupply an active and uſeful character, when the firſt fermentation of the youthful paſſions is over, and the redundant ſpirits ſhall come to ſubſide.
If it be true, as a conſummate judge of human nature has obſerved,
That not a vanity is given in vain,
it is alſo true, that there is ſcarcely a ſingle paſſion, which may not be turned to ſome good account, if prudently rectified, and ſkilfully turned into the road of ſome neighbouring virtue. It cannot be violently bent, or unnaturally forced towards an object of a totally oppoſite nature, but may be gradually inclined towards a correſpondent but ſuperior affection. Anger, hatred, reſentment, and ambition, the moſt reſtleſs and turbulent paſſions which ſhake and diſtract the human ſoul, may be led to become the moſt active oppoſers of ſin, after having been its moſt ſucceſſful inſtruments. Our anger, for inſtance, which can never be totally ſubdued, may be made to turn againſt ourſelves, for our weak and imperfect obedience—our hatred, againſt every ſpecies of vice—our ambition, which will not be diſcarded, may be ennobled: it will not change its name, but its object: it will deſpiſe what it lately valued, nor be contented to graſp at leſs than immortality.
Thus the joys, fears, hopes, deſires, all the paſſions and affections, which ſeparate in various currents from the ſoul, will, if directed into their proper channels, after having fertiliſed wherever they have flowed, return again to ſwell and enrich the parent ſource.