So next morning I brought my prisoners and plunder safely to Soest, and gained more honour and fame from this foray than ever before: for each one said, "This will prove another young John de Werth[[22]]"; which tickled me greatly. Yet would not the commandant permit me to exchange shots or to fight with the lieutenant: for he said I had twice overcome him. And the more my triumphs thus increased the more grew the envy of those that in any case would have grudged me my luck.
Chap. viii.: HOW HE FOUND THE DEVIL IN THE TROUGH, AND HOW JUMP-I'-TH'-FIELD GOT FINE HORSES
Now I could by no means be rid of my Jupiter: for the commandant would have none of him, as a pigeon not worth the plucking, but said he made me a free gift of him. So now I had a fool of mine own and needed to buy none, though a year before I must needs allow others to treat me as such. So wondrous is fortune and so changeable the times! Even now had the lice troubled me, and now had I the very god of fleas in my power; half a year before was I serving a miserable dragoon as page, and now I had command of two servants that called me master; and so I reflected at times that nothing is so certain in this world as its uncertainty. And so must I fear if ever Fortune should let loose her hornets upon me it would altogether overwhelm my present happiness.
Now just then Count von der Wahl, as colonel in command of the Westphalian circle, was collecting troops from all the garrisons to make a cavalry expedition through the bishopric of Münster towards the Vecht, Meppen, Lingen and such places, but specially to drive off two companies of Hessian troopers in the bishopric of Paderborn that lay two miles from the city and had there done our people much damage. So was I ordered out with our dragoons, and when a few troops had been collected at Ham we beat up the quarters of the said troopers, which were but an ill-protected village, till the rest of our people came. They tried to escape, but we drove them back into their nest, and offered them to let them go without horse or weapons but with the clothes on their backs; to this they would not agree, but would defend themselves with their carbines like musqueteers. So it came to that, that in the same night I must try what luck I had in storming, for the dragoons led the way; and my luck was so good that I, together with Jump-i'-th'-field, was among the first to come into the town, and that without hurt, and we soon cleared the streets; for all that bore arms were cut down, and the citizens had no stomach for fighting; so we entered the houses. Then said Jump-i'-th'-field, we should choose a house before which a big heap of dung stood, for in such the rich curmudgeons were wont to dwell, with whom commonly officers were billeted: on such a one we seized, and there Jump-i'-th'-field would first visit the stable and I the house, on the condition each should share with the other whatever he could lay hands on. So then each lit his torch, and I called to the master of the house but had no answer, for all had hid themselves, but came upon a room wherein was nought but an empty bed and a covered kneading-trough. This I knocked open in hopes to find somewhat valuable, but as I raised the cover a coal-black thing rose up against me which I took for Lucifer himself. Nay, I can swear I was never in my life so terrified as I was then, when I so unawares beheld this black devil. "May all the powers of hell take thee," I cried in my fear, and raised my hatchet wherewith I had broke open the trough, yet had not the heart to split the creature's skull: so down he knelt, raised his hands to me, and says he, "O massa, I beg by de good God, gib me my life." With that I first knew 'twas no devil, for he spake of God and begged for his life; so I bade him get out of his trough: and that he did as naked as God made him. Then I cut a piece of my torch off for him to light me, the which he did obediently, and brought me to a little room wherein I found the master of the house, who, together with his people, was looking on at this merry sight, and begged with trembling for mercy. And that he easily came by, for in any case we might not harm the burghers, and besides he handed me over the baggage of the Hessian captain, among which was a fairly well-furnished, locked portmanteau, telling me the said captain and all his people, save one servant and the negro now present, were gone to their posts to defend themselves. Meanwhile Jump-i'-th'-field had made prize of the said servant and six fine saddle-horses in the stable: these we brought into the house, barred the doors, and bade the negro to put on his clothes; and told the burgher what story he should tell to his captain. But when the gate was opened and the posts occupied, and our general of ordnance, Count von der Wahl, was admitted, he lodged his staff in the very house where we were. So in dark night we must needs seek other quarters; and these we found with our comrades who had come in with the storming-parties: with them we made merry and spent the rest of the night in eating and drinking, when Jump-i'-th'-field and I had divided our booty. For my share I received the negro and the two best horses, of which one was a Spanish one, on which any soldier might meet his enemy, and with this thereafter I made no small show; but out of the portmanteau I got divers costly rings, and in a golden case set with rubies the Prince of Orange's portrait (for all the rest I left to Jump-i'-th'-field), so that the whole, if I had desired to give it away, would with the horses have stood me in 200 ducats: since for the negro, that was the poorest part of my booty, the Master-General of Ordnance to whom I presented him gave me two dozen thalers.
Thence we marched quickly to the Ems, yet accomplished but little: and as it happened that we came near Recklinghausen, I took leave, together with Jump-i'-th'-field, to speak with my pastor from whom I had stolen the bacon. With him I made merry and told him the negro had made me feel the same terror which he and his cook had felt, and presented him, moreover, with a fine striking watch for a friendly remembrance, which I had had out of the captain's portmanteau: and so did I take care to make friends in all places of them that would otherwise have had cause to hate me.
Chap. ix.: OF AN UNEQUAL COMBAT IN WHICH THE WEAKEST WINS THE DAY AND THE CONQUEROR IS CAPTURED
But with my good fortune my pride so increased that in the end it could bring me nothing but a fall. For as we were encamped some half-hour from Rehnen, I had leave to go into the town with my dear comrade, there to have those arms furbished up which we had just received. And as it was our intent to be right merry with each other, we turned in to the best inn, and had minstrels sent for, to play our wine and beer down our throat. So we fell to drinking and roaring; and no sport was wanting, which could make the money fly: nay, I invited also lads from other regiments to be my guests, and so carried myself as a young prince who has command of land and folk and great sums to spend by the year. And thus we fared better than was pleasing to a company of troopers who sat there also at table, but with no such mad tricks as we. So, being angry, they began to jest upon us, "How comes it," said they to one another, "that these prop-hoppers[[23]]" (for they took us for musqueteers, seeing that no animal in the world is more like a musqueteer than is a dragoon, and if a dragoon fall from his horse he rises up a musqueteer) "can make such a show with their halfpence?" "Yonder lad," answered another, "is surely some straw-squire whose mother hath sent him the milk-pence, and those he now spends upon his comrades, that some time they may pull him out of the mud or through a ditch." With which words they aimed at me, for they took me for a young nobleman. Of such talk the maid that waited brought me private news: yet since I heard it not myself, I could do no more than fill a great beer-glass with wine and let it go round to the health of all good musqueteers, and at every round made such a hubbub that none could hear himself speak. And this vexed them yet more, so that they said aloud, "What in the devil's name have these prop-hoppers for an easy life of it!" Whereupon Jump-i-'th'-field answered, "And what matters that to the bootblacks?" This passed well enough; for he looked so big and held so fierce and threatening a carriage that no one cared to give him the rub. Yet he must again fall foul of them, and this time of a fellow of some consideration, who answered, "Ay, and if these loiterers could not so swagger here on their own dung-hill (for he thought we lay there in garrison, because our clothes seemed not so weather-beaten as those of the poor musqueteers who must lie day and night in open field), where could they show themselves? Who knows not that any of them in the battlefield is as surely the booty of the troopers as is the pigeon of the hawk?" But I answered him, "It is our business to take cities and fortresses, whereas ye troopers, if ye come but to the poorest rat's-nest of a town, can there drive no dog out of his den. Why may we not then have your good leave to make merry in that which is more ours than yours?" The trooper answered, "Him who is master in the field the fortresses must follow after: and that we troopers are masters in the field is proved by this: that I for myself not only fear not three such babes as thee, musquet and all, but could stick a couple such in my hat-band, and then ask the third where there were more to be found. And if I now sat by thee," said he with scorn, "I would bestow on my young squire a couple of buffets to prove the truth of this."
"Yea," said I, "and though I have as good a pair of pistols as thou, notwithstanding I am no trooper, but only a bastard between such and the musqueteers, yet, look you, even a child hath heart enough to shew himself alone in open field against such a bully on horseback as thou art, and against all thine armoury."
"Aha; thou swaggerer," said the fellow, "I hold thee for a rascal if thou make not good thy words forthwith as becomes an honourable nobleman."
So I threw him my glove and, "See then," said I, "if I get this not from thee in fair field with my musquet only and on foot, so hast thou right and good leave to hold and to reproach me for such a one as thy presumption has even now named me."