28
Look at the Man in the Front row. He has a Clean shave on the back of his Head. See how hard he laughs. Does he enjoy the jokes? No; he has seen the Show seven times. What large opera glasses he has. Yes, he is very short-sighted. The show is a Burlesque. The Soubrette winks at him. That is because he is Old—and Easy. Will he go on to a Club after the Show? No; he will go on a Bat.
29
Here we have the Soubrette. No; she is not seventy-seven, she is only seventeen. Her father was a Blacksmith, and she is very clever with the Hammer herself. Hasn't she a lovely Shape? It is all her own, too. The Bill says she Paid twenty-five Dollars for it. She is talking to the chorus girl. She says she had a Lobster at dinner. Soubrettes are very Fond of Lobsters. There is an Old saying: "Wherever the Soubrette is, there will the Lobsters be found also."
30
The programme says the Ushers must not be Tipped. It hurts an usher's Feelings to be Given money. If we were to give an usher Money he would give up his Job. You would not Like to see the poor man out of a Job, would you? All his wants Are provided for by the Management and he Has no need of money. He gets a very Fat salary and his Family live in Elegance. How kind of the management to Treat the usher so well! Of course we will not give the usher money as the Management does not wish us to. It would be cruel, and Besides we would get very little in Return.