Here we have a Real sword. It is Carried by the Hero. He is a Brave man, and the sword is very Sharp. Johnny, try and Shave Harry with the Sword. Try hard! Now Clara, get a Mop, and wipe Up the Blood before the Stage manager returns. Johnny, hit Harry on the Head with a Hammer. He should not Make so Much noise. Little children should be Seen and not Heard. Stick him in the Ribs with the sword.
41
This Man is the Man who has seen the Show. Are you not glad that it is raining, so that you can Hear him Swear? No; he did not have an Umbrella when he went in, but he has one Now. He Found it. He is saying that the Show was Rotten. That is because the Girl who sat next to him got Mad when he Squeezed her Hand when it was Dark. Of course he Thought he was Squeezing his wife's hand. Always squeeze hands when You go to the theatre. It will keep you Warm.
42
How pompous is the Orchestra leader! Do you notice his white gloves? How they add to his appearance. Perhaps his appearance needs adding to. Watch him lean over the footlights. See the funny little bald spot on his head. How commanding he is; all the musicians are afraid of him he is so fierce. But why the bald spot? S-h-h-h, children, that is where his little wife pulled the hair out last night.